


It Don't Feel Like Sinning To Me (Feels Like Love)

by FallenAngel69



Series: Sins of the Fathers [2]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Double Penetration, F/M, Flirting, Fluff and Smut, Internal Conflict, M/M, Mild Angst, Multi, Oral Sex, Priest Kink, Threesome - F/M/M, Vaginal Sex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-16
Updated: 2021-03-05
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:48:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 35,550
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27585644
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FallenAngel69/pseuds/FallenAngel69
Summary: Sequel to "Heaven's Just a Sin Away" (Should be read first).Life had gone on. Steve was back in New York doing his thing while you and Bucky started your life together as husband and wife. However, the dismissal of the local clergy temporarily brings Steve back to his hometown to sort out the mess left by the previous priest.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Reader, James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers, James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers/Reader, Steve Rogers/Reader
Series: Sins of the Fathers [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2016470
Comments: 139
Kudos: 198





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So, as most of you know, I've been working on this for a while. However, I find myself slacking with my writing. That's why I'm going to start posting again as I write. I am more inclined to finish things when I know people are interested, vested, and/or waiting. It's my motivation. So... here ya go. Chapter One.

It’s a typical Friday in October you’ve just finished dropping off some things for your boss at the local Newspaper office and you’re taking a few moments for yourself to stop by St. Mary’s on the way back. You know he won’t mind because he allows you to run errands whenever you need to because of the hectic schedule that he sometimes makes you keep.

When you enter, the church is quiet. As you make your way to the confessional booth, you notice that there aren’t a lot of parishioners and given the time of day it is, you figure that is probably normal for mid-morning on a Friday. When you reach the confessional, you carefully step into the booth closing the door behind you and sliding the latch into place before taking a seat to wait for the priest to arrive in the one next door.

It takes a few moments, but eventually, you hear heavy footsteps on the hardwood floor and door rattles and then latches as someone sits down on the bench on the other side of the wall. The small screen between you is opened and you hear the low timbre of Steve’s voice. “I’m sorry for the delay. How may I help you child?”

You swallow thickly, having not expected to feel even slightly aroused by just the sound of his voice or the image of him that your mind is suddenly conjuring up. Clearing your throat, you open your mouth to speak but he interrupts with a gentle, “Take your time.”

“ _So, Steve like_ ,” you think to yourself.

You suppress the fond giggle that wants to rise up in your throat and begin your confession. “Forgive me father, for I have sinned. This is technically my very first confession.” You hear a low chortle on the other side of the screen giving you the slight indication that maybe he already recognizes your voice. “I’ve been having impure thoughts about someone that I shouldn’t be having thoughts about.”

“Go on,” he coaxes, and you can almost hear the amusement in his voice.

“You see, my husband has this very, very hot best friend who… well, we’ve done things together, very naughty things, but that was before husband and I were married; and, well lately I’ve been thinking about him. I’ve been thinking about him a lot, and about how I want to do all those naughty things all over again and maybe even more naughty things.”

“Have you talked to your husband about these desires?” Came the question from the other side.

“I have.”

“What are his thoughts on the matter?”

“Oh, he’s fine with it. You see, he’s done things with this friend too, and has apparently been thinking about him a lot as well. He misses him, you see.” You hear Steve clear his own throat and then there is silence. “Father?”

“What are you up to?”

You chuckle softly, realizing that your game is over. Steve knows that you’re not Catholic, so there’s no point in continuing the charade. “Bucky’s making chicken cacciatore for dinner and we want you to come. You free?”

“You know there are other ways to invite me to dinner, right?”

“I know, but this is more fun.” You hear Steve get up and open the door to his side of the confessional, so you follow suit. He turns to face you and you smile, immediately feeling your cheeks heat up just a bit as you take in the stern look he’s sending your way. It has nothing to do with the fact that he looks so damn delectable standing there in his black suit and clerical collar with a purple stole draped around his shoulders not to mention his wavy, dark blonde hair and the full beard that he’s still not bothered to shave off after a year and a half of having it. It literally makes you swoon every time you’ve seen him since the week of your wedding. Of course, you’re really not sure who swoons more, you or Bucky. “I’m…. sorry?”

He shakes his head, grinning as he pulls you into a hug. “Shush. No, you’re not. What time is dinner?”

Feeling suddenly overwhelmed with relief, you readily accept his hug by nearly melting into his warm and welcoming embrace. You’re glad that he isn’t upset with your behavior considering how highly inappropriate it was—even if it was all in fun. “Is four good for you?”

“Four is perfect.” He steps back and reaches to briefly tangle his fingertips in your hair before cupping your face with his large hands. His blue eyes sparkle as they look fondly into yours. “I’ll bring wine.”

Your eyes flutter shut as he leans forward and presses a chaste kiss to your forehead. “Ok,” you hear yourself whisper as tiny goosebumps prickle over your skin.

“Can I walk you out?”

“Sure.” You nod your head as he lets go of you and steps back, leaving a more appropriate amount of space between the two of you. “How are things going here?”

“Good. Better at least,” Steve explains as you start walking back down the long corridor that leads towards the front doors. “I hope you know I’ve not been avoiding…”

“I know. Bucky said you’ve talked a couple of times since you’ve been back.”

“There’s just a lot to sort out here. The last guy left the place in kind of a mess. I haven’t had the chance to…”

“I get it,” you assure him. “Maybe you can relax a little tonight then?”

“Yeah. Hope so. Definitely looking forward to the company and a good meal.” He smiles, coming to a stop in front of the door.

“See you at four then, Father Steve.”

“At four,” he replies with a smile as he sees you out the door.

You turn once you’re down the front steps. Steve is still standing in the doorway, so you wave at him before heading off to your car to drive the few minutes back to the newspaper office.

*****

Later that evening, you help Bucky as much as he will let you with dinner, and it’s nearly four when you find yourself in the kitchen putting on the finishing touches. You’ve both already changed clothes, you have opted for a taupe sweater-dress while Bucky chose light-wash jeans and a white t-shirt with a blue button-down pulled on over it. It was, after all, a casual dinner between friends. However, you both felt an unspoken need to look nice for the occasion.

You’re no longer in the same apartment, having moved into a house a few miles away only a couple of months ago. It’s a new feeling and you’re still getting used to all the differences that come with living in a house versus living in an apartment. There’s definitely more space and there’s three bedrooms instead of only two. Of course, you don’t really need the bedrooms as neither you nor Bucky have any desire to procreate any time soon if ever, but they’re nice to have just in case.

Plus, both you and Bucky now have more personal space; and he has a really nice kitchen to work in, seeing as how he still really enjoys cooking despite the fact that he’s currently taking engineering classes at the community college

“I still can’t believe you went to confession and said those things,” Bucky says with an amused smile while he drains the pasta.

“I can’t believe you can’t believe it.” You roll your eyes while you set the table for three. “You should know me well enough to know that I would definitely do something like that.”

“I should, shouldn’t I.”

The doorbell rings before anymore can be said, so you leave Bucky to finish up while you go to greet Steve. He is standing on the other side of your front door in dark jeans, a blue button-down shirt, and a leather jacket, smiling and holding a bottle of wine. “Hey, Sweetheart.”

“Hey, babe,” you say with a smile, standing aside to let him come in. “Welcome to our new and humble abode.”

“Thanks.” Steve steps into the house, closing the door behind him and then reaching for your waist to haul you in for another hug. “I’m sorry I didn’t make it to the housewarming.”

“We missed you, but it’s ok. We got your gift which you shouldn’t have felt obligated to get in the first place, but it was very much appreciated. Did you get our thank you?”

“I did,” he replies as you take the already chilled bottle of wine from his hands and lead him toward the kitchen as he shrugs out of his jacket. “And I got it because I wanted to get you guys something. I’m really happy and proud that you were able to get this place. It looks amazing.”

“It is amazing,” Bucky says having overheard your conversation as the two of you enter the kitchen where he’s just putting the last of the meal on the table. “Check out my new kitchen.”

“ _Our_ , new kitchen,” you remind him as you go to get the bottle opener from the drawer. When you turn around, you see the two men embracing tightly. It makes you pause and smile for a moment before you return to opening the bottle and filling the three glasses that were already waiting on the counter. It had only been about six months since Bucky had last saw Steve, but you knew he’d been missing him a lot lately, as had you. Even though there had been long periods without him before, it still felt like he was a missing link sometimes.

When Steve had called two months ago to let you guys know that he was being assigned the job that Bishop Phillips had originally offered him nearly two years ago—if only temporarily—it had thrilled both of you. The idea of seeing him more frequently had made you both happy. However, he’d already been in town for nearly a month and today was the first either of you had seen him. Bucky had been in contact, of course, but that was it. Steve was busy trying to sort out the mess left at St. Mary’s by the guy who actually did take Bishop Phillips’ place and just hadn’t had the time for anything personal.

You carefully carry the glasses to the table and set them down, smiling at Bucky as he pulls your chair out for you. “Thanks, love.”

He smiles at you and then motions to Steve to have a seat. “I think everything is ready. Let me put your jacket in the closet, and I’ll show you the rest of the house after dinner.”

Dinner goes as well as it ever has between the three of you. The mood is light, the banter is comfortable, and the food is—as always—delicious thanks to your talented husband. It’s almost like no time has passed and it has been but a few days since you’ve all been together. It doesn’t feel awkward or strange at all as the three of you catch up one everyone’s lives and current situations.

“Good Heavens, I have missed this so much,” Steve says as he digs into his second helping of cacciatore.

“I gave you the recipe,” Bucky gives Steve a pointed glare from across the table.

“I know, but I can’t cook it like you do. I think you left something out of the recipe on purpose.”

“Just my special touch,” Bucky quips with a grin as he picks up his wine glass. “This wine is great too, by the way.”

“I thought it would pair well with this. I have a friend in New York who gifted a bottle once, and I’ve been a bit indulgent ever since.”

“I still can’t get over that,” you say. “I would never even dream of giving a priest an alcoholic beverage let alone as a gift.”

“Because you’re not Catholic, Doll,” Bucky gently reminds you.

“I’m aware, but it still blows my mind.”

Steve shrugs. “I know Baptist preachers who sometimes partake.”

“Not my preachers growing up,” you say with a laugh. “Fire and brimstone, you sinners.”

Both Bucky and Steve began to laugh, but they knew you were being serious because they’ve both encountered those types of people.

“So,” You begin, “Not to change the subject, but I got some good news this afternoon while I was at work.”

“Yeah?” Bucky sets his glass down on the table, giving you his undivided attention.

“I kinda got a promotion,” you say with a big grin. “Harlen asked me to step up into the actual editor’s position because he’s been wanting to cut back on his time at the office; and since he’d been doing most of that plus all of the publishing stuff… Ya know?”

“Baby, that’s great,” Bucky says with a grin as he stands up and leans over to give you a hug and a kiss. “I’m so happy for you. It’s about time you get the recognition for all the hard work you’re already doing.”

You smile brightly at him and glance at Steve who is also smiling at you as he leans on the table folding his arms in front of him to tell you, “Congratulations.”

“Thanks. I’m pretty excited about it.”

“You should be,” Steve says. “It sounds like a great opportunity.”

“It sounds like a reason to celebrate,” Bucky says as he walks over to the refrigerator and pulls out a cheesecake.

“Oh my God. Is that?”

“Chocolate Cheesecake from Gina’s?” Bucky asks as he sets the cheesecake down on an empty space of table in front of a wide-eyed Steve. “Yes.”

You roll your own eyes as Bucky goes back to the cupboards to get dessert plates and a knife from the block on the counter. “Oh yes, let’s pretend that was for me.”

“Don’t be like that,” Steve pouted. “We can share.”

“Only because I like you.”

“Good thing…” he says, winking at you as he helps Bucky remove the cover so he can slice it.

A while later, you stay behind to clean up the kitchen while Bucky gives Steve a tour of the house. You put the leftovers in the refrigerator including a to-go container that you packed up for Steve to take with him as well. Then you load the dishwasher—the one appliance that you insisted on making sure you had this time around especially since Bucky was cooking more frequently to relieve stress.

Once you’re finished, you grab a couple of bottles of beer and throw blanket before heading out to the back deck where you last heard Bucky and Steve going. You see the men standing next to the hot tub that is built into the spacious deck that is attached to the back of your house. There is also an inground pool further out in the yard and everything is surrounded by a nice wooden privacy fence. You have to admit, the yard is one of the things that made you fall in love with the place to begin with.

“So, what do you think?” You ask as you join them, handing them each a bottle.

“Very nice,” Steve replies, still watching as Bucky shows him the retractable hot tub cover.

“Hey,” you say, kicking your shoes off. “Leave it open. It’s a nice night. Gonna dip my feet.”

Bucky hands you the remote and motions towards the swing a few feet away. “Wanna chill for a while? Probably won’t have too many more nights like this.”

While they’re making their way over to the swing, you hike your dress up a bit and step into the steaming water of the hot tub. It feels wonderful and you immediately feel yourself begin to relax as you take a seat on the edge facing the house so you can still talk with them.

Steve sits down and leans back on the porch swing next to Bucky, slinging his arm over the back as he holds his beer in the other hand which rests across his stomach. “There is something peaceful about living here, you know. It’s nice to enjoy the quiet sometimes instead of the hustle and bustle of the city.”

Bucky nods in agreement. “Yeah. I thought it would take me longer to get used to it again, but I was wrong.” He smiles at you while you sit on the edge of the hot tub, letting your legs dangle in the water. “Now I don’t think I could live in the city full-time anymore. Do you miss it yet?”

“Yes and no. There are definitely perks that I don’t have here, but then there are things here that I don’t have there.”

“I get that.”

“How’s your family?” Steve asks. The last time he was in was for the reunion per tradition and Grandma Bets hadn’t been doing well.

“They’re doing better. Grandma gave us all a scare, but she’s recovering. They’re trying to do everything they can to keep from placing her in a home.”

“I hope it doesn’t come to that.”

The three of you stay on the porch for a while longer, talking about what all has happened in the past year. You eventually join them on the swing, settling in Bucky’s lap and using the throw that you’d brought out to cover your feet.

“Hey, there is a fall festival in the town park next Friday. You planning to go?” You ask, looking at Steve which makes Bucky look his way as well.

“Uh, I hadn’t made any plans yet. I’d only heard about it yesterday.”

“You should come with us,” you say before turning to Bucky. “We are still going, right?”

“As far as I know, we are.” Bucky looks back to Steve. “What do you say? Join us?”

Steve shrugs. “Sure, why not?”

“Great! Katrina and Ben will be there. They were still on their honeymoon when you were in last time, so it will be good for everyone to catch up.”

“Oh, right!” Steve exclaims as thought he’d forgotten that Katrina was married now. “How is she?”

“Pregnant,” Bucky supplies as he drains the rest of his beer. “Hormonal.”

You grimace. “Yeah… Be careful what you say to her.”

Steve lifts a brow. “Should I be worried?”

You can’t keep a straight face any longer, so you burst into laughter. “No. It’s ok. She’s fine. Just a little more emotional than usual but nothing too crazy.”

It is nearing ten when Steve finally says he has to leave, so you and Bucky both see him to the door. You go to the kitchen first to grab his container of leftovers for which he is incredibly grateful for.

“You’re welcome,” you tell him for the third time as you hug him tightly. “Thank you for coming over. We’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you guys too,” he says as he lets you go with a kiss on the cheek. “Love you, darlin’.”

“Love you too, Stevie. See you soon?”

He nods and turns to embrace Bucky in the doorway. “Love you.”

“Love you.” Bucky kisses Steve’s forehead and cups his cheek. “Drive safe.”

Once Steve is out the door, Bucky locks the door and sets the alarm before he turns to you with a warm smile. “Well, I think that went well.”

“Yeah. I think so. I’m glad we’re all still good.”

“Me too. Now, should we call it an early night Mrs. Barnes?”

“I think that’s a lovely idea Mr. Barnes. Lead the way.”

Bucky does as he’s told, taking your hand, he leads you through the last few rooms downstairs that still needs the lights turned off and then up the steps to the master bedroom.

*****

The following Friday evening, you dress in your favorite green, knit sweater, black leggings, and leather boots that zip up the sides. You’re excited to be going to the festival as fall is one of your favorite seasons, and you love the atmosphere specifically in October. The cozy weather, the changing of the leaves, and the mouthwatering flavors of everything apple and pumpkin just puts you in a happy place. Not to mention there are usually hayrides and bonfires galore.

“You ready?” Bucky asks as he enters the bedroom, already dressed in jeans, boots, and a black Henley.

“Almost,” you reply while you walk into the master bathroom to put the finishing touches on your make up. “Steve here yet?”

“Not yet.” Bucky leans against the door frame watching you in the mirror. “He sent a text saying he’s on his way though.”

“Great. Oh, by the way, I talked to Kat earlier today. They’re not gonna make the festival. Ben’s mom is sick, so they’re going to go visit his family for the weekend. They left this morning.”

“Oh, that’s too bad. I hope everything is ok.”

You sigh and put your lipstick back in the drawer. “Yeah. Me too.” You then turn to Bucky and gesture to your outfit. “How does this look?”

“Perfect,” he replies with a warm smile. “As always.”

You roll your eyes and slap a hand against his chest as you walk by him to exit the bathroom. “Such a sap.”

The doorbell rings as you’re making your way down the stairs, so you turn towards the foyer to go open it. “Hello, Steven.” You don’t bother asking him in. You simply turn around to head back into the living room, leaving the door ajar, knowing that he will follow. He’s dressed casually again in jeans and a red long-sleeve shirt similar to the one that Bucky is wearing. You can’t help but wonder how you got so lucky as to have two such gorgeous men in your life. “You ready for all these festivities?”

“You bet. It’s been a while since I’ve done this kind of thing just for fun,” he reminds you.

“No working tonight,” Bucky says as he finally makes his way down the stairs. “By the way, I’ve been informed that we’re going on a hayride, like it or not.”

Steve looks at you, his eyes twinkling happily. “No complaints here. I like hayrides.”

“Since when?” Bucky’s brows furrow.

“Since tonight,” Steve says with a smirk. “I do have one request though.”

“What’s that?” You ask while grabbing your purse and pulling out a few essentials like your ID, debit card, and some cash to stuff in Bucky’s back pocket.

“Mulled Cider. It’s a must. We cannot leave without a cup.”

A few hours later, you’re all at enjoying the various fun and games strewn out along town square. You’ve managed to sample some of your favorite fall treats and are currently appreciating a candy apple while watching Bucky and Steve try their hand at pumpkin bowling. It’s quite amusing to watch, honestly.

“I saw you laughing at us,” Bucky says after his last turn when he joins you to watch Steve finish up.

You reach down, lacing your fingers with Bucky’s metal ones. “I wasn’t laughing at you. I was laughing with you.” You grin, holding up your candy apple with your other hand. “Want a taste?”

Bucky doesn’t take your offering of the apple. Instead, he leans over and kisses you. You whimper softly in surprise, but quickly fall into the kiss that lasts only for a moment before Bucky is pulling away, licking his lips as a mischievous smile curls on them. “Delicious.”

“I know, right?” You say before taking another bit of the apple as if his kiss hadn’t just melted you into a puddle of goo.

“Guess it’s time for that hayride, yeah?” Steve asks once he rejoins you.

“Lead the way,” you say, refusing to let go of Bucky’s hand as you walk across the street, following Steve to the area where they’re starting the hayrides.

On the hayride, you find yourself squished between Bucky and a couple of kids while Steve sat on Bucky’s other side next to an elderly woman who was cuddled up with her husband. You smile at the couple and then at Bucky. That’s what you hope to one day have with him. As if he’s reading your mind, he wraps his arm around you, and you snuggle closer to him. The night is perfect; not too chilly, but just cold enough to crave each other’s warmth as you travel around town looking at all the fall and Halloween decorations that adorn the yards of the town’s people and store fronts on main street.

A feeling of contentment washes over you as you watch the children’s excitement and listen to Steve and Bucky chatting idly about something or other. You know very well that they’re only doing the hayride to appease you, so you let them be while letting your self bask in the ambiance.

The ride last for about twenty minutes before it stops at the other end of main street where there’s a bonfire in one of the graveled parking lots. Steve is off first, so he reaches back for your hand to help you down from the wagon. “Thanks,” you say with a smile as you turn to wait for Bucky to step down too. “You ready for that mulled cider?”

“Yep! I’ve been ready,” Steve assures.

The three of you make your way over to the little shack where they’re selling the cider. Bucky gets you each a cup and you also ask for a bag of cinnamon glazed almonds. Then, together you walk over to the bon fire. There, people are just mingling, and it feels like the whole town is on the same page even if it’s just for one night. You speak with some of the townspeople that you know and Steve is approached more than once by patrons of the church, all singing his praise and telling him that they’re so glad he’s come there to fix the mess.

By the time you make your way back to your vehicle, it’s nearing midnight. “Well, this was fun,” you say, climbing into the backseat, opting to let Steve sit up front.

“It was,” Steve agreed. “I’m glad I came. Thanks for inviting me.”

“Thanks for coming,” Bucky chimed in as he started the SUV and pulled out of the parking lot. "Saved me from boredom on that hayride.”

“Ass,” you call from the backseat.

“Don’t let him fool ya,” Steve says while shifting around so he can look back at you. “He loved it.”

You grin seeing the weak glare Bucky sent towards Steve as if he’s feeling the betrayal. “Yeah, I know.”


	2. Chapter 2

On Monday morning, you arrive at the coffee shop across from the newspaper office earlier than usual. Much to your surprise, Steve is standing at the counter when you walk in. He’s dressed for work and clearly ready for some caffeine. “Fancy meeting you here, Father Rogers,” you say with a grin as you step up to the counter next to him. “What brings you to my neck of the woods?”

“Too little sleep last night,” he replies, “and I happened to remember how good the coffee is here.” He gives you an impish grin of his own when the barista hands him his order.

“The coffee, huh?”

“The pastries aren’t bad either,” he admits, pulling the wrapped scone to the side and gesturing to the barista. “Add on whatever she’s having too.”

“Steve…”

“I insist. Do you have time to join me?”

“Thanks, and yes. I have about thirty minutes before I have to be at work.”

“Why so early?” He asks, lifting a brow.

You refuse to answer, rolling your eyes instead because Steve knows how much you like this place and he also knows that you always arrive a little early for coffee even if you already had some at home. “Can I get an extra-large pumpkin spice latte with an extra shot of espresso and whipped cream along with a piece of that delicious looking pumpkin roll?”

The barista chuckles from behind the counter, giving Steve his new total right after Steve groans and accuses you of being one of “those” people.

“Don’t act like you don’t know me, Steven.” You sigh. “Also, it’s October. I am totally allowed to enjoy all the pumpkin flavored goodness that I want.”

“If you say so,” he hands over his debit card and looks around the mostly empty coffee shop as he waits for the barista to give it back. “You wanna pick a table? I’ll bring it over when it’s done.”

Without argument, you make your way over to a corner booth and slide in to wait. You watch fondly as he chats with the barista while he makes your drink. He’s so good with people and everyone seems instantly charmed by him. You suppose that’s what makes him so good at what he does. It does make your heart ache though. Just knowing that because he loves what he does and how committed he is to it, is forcing him to miss out on things that he really wants. It feels so unfair, and yet, you admire him for it—for his humility and selflessness.

Soon the barista puts your drink on a tray along with Steve’s coffee and scone before he turns to plate your slice of pumpkin roll. You see him smile at Steve and tell him to enjoy as he pushes it towards the edge of the counter for Steve to take.

“Thanks again,” you say when Steve joins you, setting the tray down in the middle of the table.

“You’re welcome.”

“So, what happened that made you not get enough sleep last night?”

There’s a fond look on the blonde’s face as he shakes his head in amusement. “Always right down to business, aren’t you?”

“Always,” you agree while pulling your pumpkin roll apart. You glance up at him staring at your hands with a confused look on his face. “What?”

“What in the world are you doing?”

“I like the filling better than the cake part…”

“So, you just waste it?”

“No! I would never waste such deliciousness. I eat the cake first,” you try to explain your madness to him and pop a piece of it into your mouth.

“You gotta know how weird that is, right?”

“No one ever accused me of being normal,” you quip and manage to make him laugh, “and I think you’re avoiding my question.”

Steve shrugs his shoulders as he unwraps the scone that he’d clearly been planning to take to-go before you arrived. “I’m not avoiding. There’s just no way to really answer that question. I haven’t been sleeping much since I’ve been back here, to be honest.”

“Too quiet?” You ask, realizing what a difference it must be from the city.

“No. That’s never been an issue. I’ve always liked the quietness when I come here for visits. I think it’s just the bed at the parish. It’s not the most comfortable,” he explains. “And maybe part of it is that I’m just concerned about the well-being of the church and the congregation.”

“How do you mean?” When he doesn’t answer, you glance up at him and his face is a mask of worry. “Steve?”

With a heavy sigh, he finally replies. “I don’t know if they’ll every fully recover from this. I mean, this guy was… he used up most of their resources for stupid stuff and honestly, the people feel betrayed. I mean, you heard what they were saying at the festival, right?”

“I heard people bragging about what a great job you’re doing.” It was the truth. That’s what you had heard. If there was anything else being said, you didn’t catch it or understand the underlying meaning of most of it.

He smiles appreciatively at you for reminding him of that part of their conversations. “Yeah, well, I don’t feel like I’m doing a great job. I mean the sermons part, I’ve got, no problem. It’s all the behind the scenes stuff that’s really got me frazzled. Finances, bookkeeping, record keeping, possible embezzlement…” he shakes his head in thought as he picks up his scone. “But you don’t need to hear about any of this. The new position going well?”

You narrow your eyes at him as you chew on another piece of cake. “I’m here to listen to anything you want to talk about. Even if I have no idea what’s going on—which I don’t, by the way—sometimes we just need to vent.”

“Thank you.” He picks up his coffee but hesitates before taking a drink. “I really do appreciate that, but really it’s just a lot of crap, and I don’t need to unload it all onto you. So… the new job?”

“It’s good,” you concede. “Nothing much has really changed except I’m working some longer hours, get to bass a few people around, and I just found out on Friday that I’ll be doing some traveling soon.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Nowhere extravagant, unfortunately. Just some conferences, workshops, and such. The first one is next month in Terre Haute, right before Thanksgiving.”

“Well that sounds exciting though.”

“Yeah. I’m hoping that Terre Haute has some pretty decent shopping. So far all I’ve seen when I’ve researched things to do has been museums and parks. Don’t really wanna do that alone.”

“You’re going alone?”

“Yeah. Bucky has classes. I would ask Kat, but with her being pregnant and all—plus I don’t know about Ben’s mom. I just… I’ll be fine,” you say, realizing that he’s asking out of concern for your safety more than your sanity. “You may need to keep husband company though.”

“I might be able to find some free time to check-in, make sure he’s alive.”

“I’d appreciate it.”

Over the next few minutes; you and Steve talk about plans for the holidays. You and Bucky are joining his family at his grandma’s place for Thanksgiving this year. Since she’d been ill, everyone thought it would be best to spend Thanksgiving with her because no one knew what the new year would bring. Of course, Steve will be joining as he’d been considered a part of their family long before you and had never missed a special occasion, so that is not news to him. There are also plans in the works for a Christmas dinner, but it won’t be on Christmas day. That way everyone can make it without conflicts from their own busy schedules and family traditions.

“There’s going to be a Christmas Party at town hall this year,” you inform Steve as you eat the last bit of the cream cheese filling from your pumpkin roll.

“Yeah, I’d heard about that. Sounds like they’re going all out for it too. I remember that they used to have those when I was a kid. I don’t know why they stopped doing them.”

“According to my boss, it was because the city was spending an insane amount of money only to have limited attendance. We’ve been advertising it for a couple weeks now and will continue to do so up until the week of. Hopefully, it will take off again.”

“So, you and Bucky are planning to go?”

“I’ve already bought my dress,” you assure him. “You should join us.”

“We’ll see,” He looks at his watch and then begins to pick up the trash from the table, placing it on the tray. “I should be heading to the church, and I think it’s time for you to be at work.”

You nod, glancing at the clock on the wall. “Yeah. Thanks again for buying and for hanging out. It was nice. Maybe we can do it again sometime.”

“I’d like that,” he says, while standing and picking the tray up from the table. You follow, grabbing what remains of your latte before heading towards the door with him. You hold the door open, waiting for him to empty the tray and put it in the return bin. “Thanks.”

“So, I’ll see you soon?” You ask once you’re standing outside on the sidewalk. The morning air is getting colder, so you know it won’t be long before you’ll have to start wearing more than just a light jacket or blazer.

“Yeah. I’ll be around. Buck and I had talked about getting together to do something before long anyway.”

“Alright,” you hesitantly reach to hug him unsure if such a public display is allowed. He must see your apprehension because he pulls you in close, hugging you tightly for a brief moment before letting go and stepping back with a warm smile. “Have a good day, Steve. I hope things start getting better for you at the church.”

He nods appreciatively. “Thanks.

*****

As planned, your boss sent you to Terre Haute for a journalism workshop that lasted for two days. Although the speakers at the conference were fantastic, there wasn’t a lot of new information or insight for you to learn from and ultimately, you were bored out of your mind. Afterwards, you were stuck in a hotel room alone with nothing to do except watch TV. Sure, you could have gone shopping or even read a book, but shopping wasn’t any more fun alone than going to a museum, and you weren’t in the right kind of mood for devouring a book.

You did spend part of the second night video chatting with your husband who commiserated with you about being bored. Of course, you knew that he was only agreeing with you to make you feel better. The first night that you were gone, he and Steve had hit up the movie theater and then had dinner at Bucky’s parents’ house—hardly boring.

Either way, you didn’t begrudge them. You were thrilled that they’d found the time to hang out with each other. It had been a while since they’d been able to just be best friends hanging out.

After your trip, Thanksgiving was just around the bend and you and Steve join Bucky’s family at their Grandma Betts’ house. Everyone was chipping in for a Thanksgiving Day potluck featuring all of Grandma Betts’ tried and true recipes. Bucky is in charge of the green bean casserole and the candied sweet potatoes. You don’t bother even offering to help because the last thing you want to do is be at fault if something doesn’t turn out right and the whole family figures out what a terrible cook you can be.

So, while Bucky is cooking, you and Steve stay busy in the garage, digging out all of the Christmas decorations that you plan to put up the next day.

“I really appreciate your help with this,” you say to Steve who is about four steps up on the stepladder reaching boxes down to you.

“It’s no problem. Not like I had anything better to do today after this morning’s mass.”

“Still. I didn’t have to put you to work as soon as you got here when you’re just coming over to hang out.”

Steve chuckles as he hands down another box of lights. “How many boxes of lights does this make?”

“I don’t know. I like lights. All different colors too!”

“No white lights for you?”

“Sometimes I’ll do the tree in white lights, but I have to be in a mood.” You set the box to the side along with the other boxes. “You should come over tomorrow and help us get the tree decorated. I’m making eggnog.”

“You’re making the eggnog?”

Your eyes narrow as Steve steps down off of the ladder to move it a few feet over where there are more boxes stacked up on the loft. “Yes… Do you find that hard to believe?”

“Not at all.”

“I make really good nog, Steven.”

“I’m not saying you don’t!” Once he’s back on the ladder, he heaves a rather large box off the shelf, and you reach for it. “Got it?” Thankfully, he waits for you to get a good grip and nod before he lets go of the box because it’s pretty heavy. “So, what time does the tree decorating ceremony commence?”

“Not until after noon at least. Kat and I are going shopping with the masses in the morning.” You don’t miss the concerned look that he sends you. It makes you giggle because you know exactly what he’s thinking. “Don’t worry. It will be fine. I’ll make sure Kat and the papoose stays safe. Have you seen her since you’ve been back?”

“I haven’t. It seems like we keep missing each other.”

It’s not a surprise to you. Katrina had been traveling back and forth to Ben’s parents’ place due to his mom’s illness and anytime Steve has free time never coincides with her free time. “Well hopefully the stars will align this evening.”

Unfortunately, they don’t. Katrina calls right as you’re getting ready to leave. Ben’s mother took another turn so they’re not going to make it to Thanksgiving dinner. They’ve already stopped by Grandma Betts’ house to explain what was going on and to drop of the dressing she’d already made. While you hope everything turns out ok with Ben’s mom, you’re kind of bummed about the cancellation of your shopping trip the next day. The two of you had spent days mapping out a plan to hit up as may sales as possible.

“What’s going on?” Bucky asks as he pulls his coat on before picking up the insulated carriers full of food.

“Kat and Ben aren’t going to be at dinner tonight.”

“Ben’s mom?”

“Yeah.”

“Looks like you’re stuck with us for company,” Steve pipes up as he slings an arm over your shoulders and gives you an encouraging squeeze. “Don’t worry, I know where Grandma Betts keeps the good stuff.” He looks at Bucky who’s giving him a confused look. “I’m talking about games, Buck. Don’t you remember the slew of board games she has?”

“Right. Yeah, we’ll break out the games and have the whole family playing an insanely messed-up game of Scattergories.”

You lift your brow as you imagine the whole family jampacked in the living room playing a game. “Ya know, that doesn’t sound like a bad idea.”

“Clearly you haven’t been around my extended family quite enough,” Bucky says as he ushers you and Steve out the door.

Despite not having your best friend there with you as you had for every Barnes get-together since the first time you attended their reunion, Thanksgiving dinner turned out to be a great time. You spent time with Bucky’s immediate family, and unlike with Katrina’s family, you weren’t bored or wanting to choke them by the end of the night. You considered that a win. Of course, over the last couple of years, you’d gotten to know the Barnes’ pretty well, and every family has a few menaces. In this particular one, it’s Katrina’s parents and siblings. You completely understand why she’s closer to Bucky that her own brother. Even you know that nothing your best friend had ever done had lived up to her parent’s expectations. You blamed most of that on her father who wasn’t a Barnes. He’d only married into them, and his family ways were nothing like the Barnes’.

After dinner—which was delicious, you help Bucky’s mom, Winnie, with clean up in the kitchen while Steve and Bucky are keeping some of Bucky’s cousins’ kids busy with games in the middle of the living room. Grandma Betts sits at the table and sips on a cup of tea while her children and grandchildren filter in and out to say their goodbyes.

Both women seem quite fond of you and neither have harbored any kind of resentment towards you for being the fault of Bucky not continuing his pursuit of the cloth. Of course, it had taken you a while to relax around them once you and Bucky had started dating, but eventually Winnie had sat you down and told you that she was glad that Bucky met you. She had never really liked the idea of him becoming a priest to begin with; but he was her son, and she didn’t ever want to discourage him from doing what he was passionate about. You love her for that. In fact, you love Bucky’s entire family—even the few who, like Katrina’s family, are insufferable.

“Bucky’s happy to have Steve home, isn’t he?” Grandma Betts laments as she glances into the living room where they’re playing a game of Go Fish with the two children who are left.

“He is,” you agree before handing off another dried dish for Winnie to put away.

“Inseparable, those two. Bucky and our family is the only thing Steve had left after his ma passed. I’m glad they’ve managed to stay friends since Bucky changed the course of his future.”

You nod, wondering where this conversation is going to lead. It isn’t common for Grandma Betts to share her feelings on your husband’s friendship with Steve. “Me too.”

“I think they’re both happy, though,” she continues, still watching them, “and it’s obvious that Bucky adores you, young lady. Steven too.”

“Now, Mama,” Winnie joins in on the conversation. “We always knew that if Bucky settled down it would have to be with someone that got along with Steve just as well as he did.” She grins at you, while she sets the last stack of dishes into the sink. “Of course, after the whole becoming a priest fiasco started, we gave up hope of that ever happening.”

Oddly, you feel a tinge of guilt that you haven’t felt in a while. “Steve is great at what he does. I’m sure Bucky would have been too.”

“Sure, he would have,” Grandma Betts agrees with you, “but he wouldn’t have been as happy.”

You glance into the living room at your husband and his best friend. You can’t help but wonder if she’s right. Are they both as happy as they could be? Bucky has always told you that he has no regrets, and Steve has gone on to do what he is passionate about; but that doesn’t stop you from wondering where they’d be if you’d never stepped into the picture.

Thankfully, their conversation moves on to the next random topic that Grandma Betts’ mind conjures up. It just so happened to be Katrina and her unborn child. She wants all the details on the baby shower that you’ve barely started planning with little help from Katrina’s mother. It’s a nice change in discussion. You’re actually more excited to be planning the shower than you’d originally anticipated. Ever since you found out that Katrina was having a girl, you’ve been gathering up all sorts of cute, frilly ideas.

“Are you and Bucky making plans anytime soon?”

Grandma Betts’ question catches you off guard and you nearly drop the bowl you’re drying. Fortunately, Bucky chooses that moment to stroll into the kitchen for a drink. “Plans for what?” He asks as he opens the refrigerator door.

“Babies!”

Bucky pauses and looks at you over the top of the refrigerator door, but when you shrug and give him a helpless look, he bends back over to retrieve his drink as though it’s not a big deal. “We aren’t rushing things,” he explains, closing the door. “We like our life how it is right now.”

“But they are in your future, right?”

This time it’s Bucky who shrugs, unconcerned as he opens the can of Coke he’d got for himself. “Maybe. Maybe not.”

“You haven’t talked about it?” Winnie asks, having been quiet since the question was first asked. 

“We have,” you chime in. “It’s just… We don’t know yet if we want kids, and we’re both ok with just seeing what the future holds.”

As he walks by his grandmother, he pauses to wrap an arm around her shoulders. “Don’t worry Grams. You’ll be the first to know if we ever decide to have a baby. Until then, you can spoil Kat’s little one and your other five great-grandchildren all you want.” He then looks back to you. “Steve has to get back to the parish shortly, so if you’re about ready to go…”

Once again, you’re reminded of one of the many reasons why you love your husband so much. He has the ability to read you like an open book and honestly, you’re so thankful. It’s not that you don’t like kids or that you are closed to the idea of having them. It’s just that you want it to be the right time, and right now is not that time. The two of you have barely started your life together. You want to enjoy that to the fullest without the responsibility of children. When the time is right, you’ll know it, and if that time never comes then you’re both ok with that too.

After you leave, Bucky apologizes for his family’s line of questioning, but you deflect, telling him that it was ok, and that you don’t really mind. You’re not naïve enough to think that it wouldn’t come up sooner or later; and what better time to talk about it? You were already discussing baby shower plans and Katrina’s pregnancy. It was the perfect segue, and you really can’t blame Grandma Betts for wanting to know. She’s getting older and ailing a good bit; not to mention she’s already outlived all of her siblings. Of course, she’d want to know if her favorite—and yes it was obvious that he was her favorite—grandchild was planning to reproduce before she dies.

“I think you two would make great parents,” Steve states from his place in the backseat. You smile to yourself because you know with certainty that Bucky would be a great dad, but it’s still not the time. “Ok. I’ll keep my opinions on the matter to myself.”

That’s when you notice your husband glaring at his best friend through the rearview mirror. It’s hard to decipher if he’s actually upset over the topic or if he’s just trying to deflect for your sake. “It’s ok,” you say again looking first at Bucky and then leaning over to look back at Steve. “Really. I also appreciate you saying that.”

Then Bucky’s hand reaches for yours and he laces his fingers through yours, giving a gentle squeeze. “All in due time,” he says as a smile begins to curve on his lips, “and you _would_ make a great mother.”

*****

As planned on the next day, Steve shows up at your house in the late afternoon to join in the tree decorating festivities. You’re actually still sifting through the piles of shopping bags that are now scattered throughout your living room, so Bucky goes to answer the door. Of course, knowing that he’s bound to become super dramatic as soon as he sees Steve, you get up to follow.

“She dragged me shopping, Steve. I’m traumatized by the sheer idiocy of Black Friday Shopping.” Bucky complains as soon as he opens the door to let Steve inside.

You roll your eyes as you join them in the foyer. “Oh, stop whining. It wasn’t that bad, and Steve, what have I told you about ringing the doorbell?”

“Yeah, man. Just come on in,” Bucky adds, realizing that he never even thought about it.

“Sorry. Just a habit.” Steve closes the door behind him and shrugs his coat off his shoulders as he walks towards your living room. He snickers upon seeing the shopping bags that are sitting everywhere. “I take it you found some good deals.”

“We did! Managed to finish up almost all of our Christmas shopping.” You begin gathering up the bags to make room for all the Christmas decorations that will be strewn about shortly. “I’m just gonna put this stuff in the den for now.” As you’re walking away, you hear Steve ask how bad the shopping trip was and you smile when Bucky chuckles and tells him that it wasn’t bad, and that he actually had a good time.

“I got you something too,” Bucky is telling Steve when you return. “Well, _we_ got you something, but _I_ picked it out.”

“Gee. Thanks, Babe. Way to dimmish my role in gift giver this season,” you tease.

“Ok, she helped,” Bucky amends, but you narrow your eyes at him showing Steve a tiny measurement with his thumb and forefinger and mouthing “tiny bit.”

“Rude.”

“I don’t think you were supposed to see that.” Steve wrinkles his nose and gives you an apologetic look.

“Oh well, he can take credit. I’ll just find you something better and it will be just from me.”

“Hey!”

You grin at your husband’s offended pout. He’s adorable. “Come on. Let’s get started on the tree.”

“Wait, I was lured here with the promise of amazing eggnog.”

“And amazing eggnog, you shall have, Stevie! It’s chilling in the fridge for now though.”

Together the three of you manage to assemble the brand new eight-foot tree that takes up the entire corner of your living room. Bucky had insisted on getting a tree that wasn’t pre-lit because one, he likes the multi-colored musical lights that you’d used on the old tree last year as well as the year before, and two, he wasn’t completely sold on the pre-lit ones lasting very long. You’re so glad that he didn’t get the pre-lit one because watching the two men try to wrap three strands of lights around that mammoth of a tree was hilarious.

It became even more fun to watch once they got into the eggnog started with the tinsel that you had carefully wrapped into balls to make it easier for them to put on the tree. You watch them out of the corner of your eye while you unbox all of the ornaments that you and Bucky had collected singly and together. They’re laughing at each other as they keep getting the tinsel stuck on the branches while trying to reach it from one side of the tree to the other. Bucky is singing along to the Christmas music that you have playing in the background and Steve is mocking him. You smile fondly, realizing that Grandma Betts was indeed right. Bucky was certainly happy that Steve was home, and vice versa.

In addition to the eggnog, you had made some appetizers for the afternoon to hold you all over until dinner when the beef stew that bucky had in the crock pot would be done. They’ve been devoured save for a few pigs-in-a-blanket and a half of a cheeseball. So has the eggnog, and it really shows by the time the tree is done and all the other decorations are placed around the living room, kitchen, and foyer.

“I think we drank too much eggnog,” Steve points out as he flops down on the couch trying not to laugh as Bucky trips over nothing at all before he joins him, dropping down next to him to stare at the tree.

“She told you it was really good eggnog,” Bucky reminds him giddily.

“I don’t think it was the eggnog,” you argue while gathering up empty glasses and plates from the coffee table all the while wondering how they managed to finish decorating without destroying the tree. “I’m leaning more towards the rum and cognac ya’ll finished off after the eggnog was gone.”

“Did we?” Steve lifts a brow as you show him the empty bottles. “Huh…”

“I gotta go get the biscuits in the oven.” Bucky’s tone is amused as he starts to get back up, but realizes his coordination isn’t that great.

Shaking your head, you tell him to stay put. “I’ll bake the biscuits. You two stay there and don’t hurt yourselves.”

After putting the biscuits on a pan and sliding them into the oven, you set the timer and check on the stew that’s simmering. It will be ready by the time the biscuits are baked. You then spend a few minutes loading the glasses and plates into the dishwasher before going back out to the living room with a very tipsy Bucky and Steve.

While the two men lounge on the cough, laughing about the dumbest things you’ve ever heard of, you go about gathering up the empty boxes and tissue paper that your glass ornaments had been wrapped in. At some point, Steve offers to help, but he gets distracted by something Bucky says and he never even budges from his seat. You’re not surprised, or annoyed; in fact, you’re kind of amused.

About twenty-five minutes later, you hear the oven’s timer go off signaling that the biscuits are ready. “Grubs ready,” you hear Bucky say and when you look over, he’s wresting the remote away from Steve, telling him that they are not going to be watching a show about hoarding.

“Seriously, man. Every time I watch this show, it makes me want to clean out the entire house.”

You have to laugh at that remark because he isn’t lying. Personally, you love watching the show. There’s just something about it that draws you in like a moth to a flame. The last time Bucky watched it with you, though, he cleaned out the garage and threw away a whole load of stuff he’d deemed unnecessary junk. You intervene after a moment of watching them. “Give it,” you say, holding your hand out to Steve. “Dinner is ready.”

“The lady has spoken,” Steve gives Bucky a victorious grin and places the remote in your hand.

Dinner is eaten in the darkened living room, while you admire the lights twinkling on your tree. Steve is being rather quiet as he eats; but Bucky, on the other hand, is being super chatty. He seems exceptionally proud of the work they’d done to the tree. He keeps mentioning how pretty it is and asking you if you like it. Of course, you tell him it’s beautiful every time, and it’s not a lie. It is a fantastic looking Christmas tree. “The stew is really good too, baby.”

“Thank you! I used all fresh ingredients.”

“I know, I helped you cut them up last night.”

Dinner continues on like that until everyone is done and you take it upon yourself to clean up the dishes again and put the leftovers away. It takes you about an hour to finish up everything and when you’re done, you grab a couple of bottles of water from the refrigerator and head back into the living room. When you walk in, Steve is back to watching TV. He has it on the show that Bucky wouldn’t watch earlier, and that amuses you if for nothing else other than his determination to watch the show. Of course, he was probably on able to turn it on because Bucky is passed out next to him, snoring softly.

“Liquor has always had that effect on him,” Steve says, accepting the bottle of water you hand him. “Happy and giggly at first and then he crashes.”

“I’ve noticed. You gonna be able to drive home?”

He snickered at the idea. “Probably shouldn’t.”

“I’ll make up the guest room.” You set the other bottle of water down on the end table for Bucky before heading towards the stairs. You hear Steve tell you to hold up, he’ll come help. “I got it. Not much to do other than turning down the sheets and fluffing the pillows. I’ll grab you something to sleep in and a toothbrush.”

“Thanks, Sweetheart. I owe you one.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Comments and Kudos are always appreciated!


	3. Chapter 3

The night of the Christmas Festival, you and Bucky stop by the parish to get Steve on the way to City Hall. You’re excited by the idea of spending the night with all of your friends just having fun and enjoying the holiday spirit. It’s been a while since you’ve seen Katrina and Ben too. You’re glad they’re actually going to make it this time.

As you walk into the building, you shed your coat and Bucky slips his arm around you, leaning close enough to whisper in your ear as he does. “Did I tell you how much I love this dress you’re wearing tonight?”

A coy grin spreads over your lips and you silently thank God for letting you stumble upon the sexy, long-sleeved number you were currently squeezed into. It is short, form-fitting, and red-velvet with a V-neck and choker collar to top it off. “You might have mentioned it.” You tease as you stop at the welcome table with Steve.

“Well just know that I do.” Bucky slides in behind you and you immediately feel his hand on your ass. You bite back a squeal, trying to smile pleasantly at the lady on the other side of the table as he squeezes a handful of your flesh. Thankfully, the lady is too occupied with her spiel to Steve about how she thinks the city needs to involve the local Clergy in the city’s emergency preparedness planning to notice you. So, Bucky continues to whisper in your ear, “and when I get you home tonight, I’m not even going to bother taking it off first.”

“Is that a promise?” You ask, turning slightly so that you’re able to face him.

“It’s a fact.”

You lift your brow, knowing that you’re going to hold him to it now. You’re also going to do every little thing you can to tease him throughout the rest of the night. You turn back around just in time to see Steve handing you a couple of ‘thank you’ packets that the lady he’d been chatting with had given him for the three of you. “Thanks.” You say with an appreciative smile as you take two of them. “Come on now. I think I saw Katrina and Ben at a table near the door prize display.”

“Steve!” Katrina squeals when she sees him walking towards her with you and Bucky. “Oh, my lands how long has it been?”

“Hey, squirt,” Steve says, using his old nickname for her as he takes in her appearance, noticing the obvious baby bump beneath her flowy, maternity top. His eyes widen though when she starts to sniffle and immediately embraces him. “Kat?”

“Aw, I’ve missed you, jerk.”

Steve then smiles and wraps his arms around her, hugging her close. “Congratulations on the baby and the wedding. Sorry, I couldn’t be there to watch you walk down the aisle.”

She pulls away, wiping at her tears as she sits down at the table gesturing for you all to do the same which you do except for Bucky who offers to go get drinks for the three of you. “It’s ok,” she assures. “I get it. It would have just been too hard. Jealousy and all. It was a sad day for many.”

“I’m glad you understand,” Steve says, his tone as remorseful as he can possibly muster without cracking a smile. “I wouldn’t have been able to handle it at all. Seeing my best girl up there marrying some other man…the devastation.”

“My God, you two are too much. Even now?” You ask from your newly acquired seat, two seats away from Steve.

“It’s all in good fun,” Katrina says. “Gotta get my kicks somewhere, and Steven here has always been such a good sport.” She winks at Steve before directing her attention to the blonde man joining your table. “Hey, babe? Have you met my friend Steve? I mean, Father Steve?”

“Father Rogers,” Steve corrects.

“Father Steve sounds better,” Katrina argues with a wiggle of her brows.

“Kat!” Ben exclaims with wide eyes, realizing that Steve is a priest. “I am so sorry, Father Rogers.”

“It’s ok. Kat and I go way back, and believe me, I am used to way worse from her. Also, I believe we’ve been introduced a time or two. I was there the day you met actually.”

“Sans nomad-caveman look or whatever he’s going for with that beard and hair.”

“Uh, yeah. I didn’t have all this,” Steve explains, happily accepting the glass of punch that Bucky hands him when he returns and sits down in the chair between you and Steve. “Thanks.”

“Oh! I remember! We had dinner together before you went back to—New York?” Ben chatters on once he connects all the dots and remembers the entire group that was at the swimming hole that day as well as the farewell dinner. He finally sits down next to Katrina and sighs. “I’m sorry, I have a tendency not to remember people very well sometimes. Especially those that I’m not around very often. It’s nice to see you again, though.”

“Don’t sweat it, man. It’s ok. It’s good to see you, too. Congratulations on the marriage and the new baby on the way!”

“Thanks. I’m so excited. Seth is even exited to be getting a new sibling.”

“Where is he anyway?” Katrina asks, looking around the crowd of people.

“Relax. He’s with your mom.”

Steve smiles, looking back to Katrina and shaking his head in awe, “Man, I just… wow… Kat…”

“I know. Who would have thought, huh?”

Steve grimaces and grits his teeth. “That poor child.”

Katrina’s mouth falls open and she just stares at Steve for a second before the whole table erupts into a fit of giggles—except for Ben who just looks lost and maybe a little bit offended for his wife’s sake. Steve, suddenly feeling a little nervous in the presence of someone he barely knows, is just about to retract his words; but Bucky, being the friend that he is, comes to his rescue. “It’s ok, Ben,” he begins, reaching across the table to pat Ben’s arm. “Steve and Kat have been bustin’ each other’s chops since we were kids.”

That is the first time that Katrina actually looks in her husband’s direction and sees the confusion on his face. She promptly starts laughing again. “Oh my God…. Babe…. You thought he was serious?” She shakes her head in disbelief. “Lord no. Don’t be fooled by the fact that Stevie here is a priest. He’s still a buttload of fun to be around. You don’t have to be so worried.”

You snicker at your friend’s comment and send a wink Steve’s way. “Yeah. He’s a goodie-two-shoes, but still a buttload of fun.”

Ben shakes his head, looking at Steve. “They’re never gonna change, are they?”

“It’s not likely, but we love them anyway.”

Katrina turns her head and sticks her tongue out at her husband. “Suck it up, you married me.”

Later when it’s just you and Steve sitting alone at your table, sipping on the green holiday punch and watching everyone else dance, Steve stands up and asks, “Care to dance?”

An amused smirk pulls at the corner of your lips and you think of Bucky who is dancing with his great-aunt Irene who hadn’t seen him—as she had exclaimed, “in ten years!” The woman attended your wedding which has been less than two years ago. But whatever, that’s beside the point. You could totally use this opportunity to tease him because of what he’d said to you earlier, however, you don’t really want to do anything that might upset or entice Steve. So, you quickly put that idea to rest and give in to the simple request to dance.

“Sure,” you finally reply with a grin, letting him take your hand and help you up before leading you towards the dance floor. “Don’t you suppose people will talk?”

“Let them. Priests are allowed to dance with their friends. Just no funny business from you…”

You laugh, placing one hand on his shoulder while making sure to keep your distance as the other stays firmly locked with his much larger one. “I will try to behave myself.”

“Thank you.”

“So, I have a question for you,” you inform as he begins to lead you around the semi-crowded dance floor.

“Shoot.”

“Do you have plans for Christmas?”

“You mean besides midnight mass and all the other obligations I have with the church for the holidays?”

You roll your eyes at his sarcasm but continue with your question anyway. “Yes, besides Mass and all that. Bucky and I are having a small dinner on Christmas evening and are inviting Kat and Ben. Seth is going to be with his mom. We’d love it if you could come.”

“Sounds like it might be something I could swing. Most of my stuff will be over by noon anyway. Will there be cheesecake?”

“Probably. And maybe even some pecan pie.” You smile up at Steve.

“Oh, now you’re just teasing.”

“I’d never.”

Steve laughs softly, while continuing to sway with the music. “Consider me there.”

You spot Bucky and his aunt Irene only a few couples away and he’s looking at you, a look of adoration on his face as he stares at you dancing with Steve. You pull a move that only Katrina would do and stick your tongue out at him. He tosses his head back in laughter and then shakes it as he turns away, spinning Irene gently beneath his raised arm. You can’t help but stare indulgently at him. You think he’s gorgeous every single day, but tonight especially as he’s dressed in a suit that was tailor made to fit him complete with a red button down that matches your dress. He still takes your breath away when you least expect it.

“You look really nice tonight, by the way,” Steve says, as his fingers seems to dig into the velvet of your dress, drawing your attention back to him.

“Thanks. So, do you, Steve. Although, when do you not?” You grin seeing a pink tinge of blush creeping into his cheeks despite being mostly covered by his beard. “I have another question, one that I’ve been meaning to ask, actually.”

“What’s that?”

You reach up, lightly brushing your fingers through his beard for just a second before dropping your hand again before anyone could notice. “What made you decide to grow this?”

There is a moment of hesitation as Steve’s eyes bore into yours before he shrugs slightly. “You don’t like it?”

“On the contrary, actually,” you say, “but I’m still curious.”

“I don’t really have a reason. I just gave it a shot and decided I didn’t hate it.”

“Good enough,” you say with a laugh. “By the way, you’re a surprisingly good dancer.”

“Why are you surprised by that?”

“I don’t know.”

Steve then takes that opportunity to surprise you by lifting his arm and spinning you around. You’re even more surprised when you land right in Bucky’s arms. Steve gives him a grin and a salute before walking away.

“Hi….” You say, as Bucky turns you into his arms holding you in a much more intimate embrace than the one Steve had had you in. 

“Hey. Having a good time?”

“Yeah. How’s aunt Irene?” You drape your arms around his neck as he winds his around your waist.

“Not nearly as sexy as you.” His hands move over your sides like he’s loving the feeling of the velvet against his skin and again, you thank God that you found this dress because you’re pretty sure when you and Bucky finally get down to it, the sex is going to be great.

“How much longer you wanna stay here? Kat and Ben have already called it a night because Seth needs to go to bed.”

“We can go whenever you and Steve want.”

“I’m ready,” Bucky whispers, leaning in close to whisper in your ear, “because all I can think about seems to be how much I want to get you home and bend you over the back of the sofa because I don’t think we’ll make it all the way to the bedroom.”

“Yeah?” A coy smile curves on your lips feeling Bucky’s flesh hand slip lower to grip your ass. “Is thinking about it getting you hard, Baby?” You giggle when he doesn’t answer, but pulls you closer, letting you feel instead. “Come on, let’s go see if Steve is ready to go home yet.”

*****

After dropping Steve off, Bucky drives back to your home. He pulls into your garage and ushers you into the house where you toss your coat and purse on a kitchen chair as you walk through. You’ve barely made it into the living room when he’s on you, drawing you close and kissing you deeply. You moan allowing his tongue to push hungrily into your mouth, licking and tasting every crevasse as your hands grab fists full of his dark hair.

As your kiss drags on, he paws at your ass through the velvet material of your dress and manages to lift you up to sit your bottom on the back of your plush, leather couch. His mouth moves from yours to your neck where he sucks, kisses, and licks, getting his fill while his hands inch up your outer thighs; slipping beneath the material and scrunching it up in a search for the elastic band of your underwear. When he finds it, he tugs it down, forcing you to use him as leverage to lift yourself up so he can remove the flimsy red, lace thong you’d chosen for the night. 

Hooking one leg around his, you rest your hands on the back of the couch to help you keep balance while you let Bucky have full control of whatever it is that he wants to do with your body. Your Bucky has never been a selfish person and he loves giving just as much as receiving if not more sometimes. As much as you actually do want to return the favor at the moment, you don’t because he’s in the mood to devour you. Nights like these are your favorite though. Nights when Bucky is so full of want, that you are content just relax and let him ravish you. Let him take what he wants.

You whine letting your body arch as Bucky’s hands slide up your back while his mouth begins to move down your front. He trails open mouthed kisses down the center of your chest until he reaches the bottom of the V in your dress just atop your cleavage. He then follows the hem to the left with his tongue before retracing it and doing the same with the right.

“Bucky,” you coo, breathily as he lavishes attention to the tops of your breast before pulling the stretchy material to the side to free a nipple. “Yes, baby…”

He sucks gently at first, humming softly as the nipple starts to pebble between his lips. Then he sucks harder, pulling back, extending it, and letting it go with a wet pop before nipping at the hardened bud and starting all over. He continues the routine for a bit before switching to the other side to pay it the same attention.

You whimper and wiggle against him because your nipples are super sensitive and when Bucky plays with them for more than a few minutes, it’s like heaven. You feel his tongue swirling around as he sucks your whole areole into his mouth, so you glance down to see him with his eyes closed and his mouth full. He looks so damn delightful. “Mmmm, Baby… that feels so good… making me so wet.”

You feel Bucky’s low growl vibrate against your skin as he lets go of your nipple and moves on down, letting his face graze against the soft fabric of your dress as he drops to his knees. He settles your legs over his shoulders and hooks his arms around your thighs. “Yes, babydoll,” he whispers, while peppering kisses against your inner thigh. His beard scrapes against your skin as he moves to place each kiss until you feel his breath against your moist skin. “So wet for me…ready to be devo…Mmm”

His words are cut off by his own impatience and your soft whimper as he buries his face in your folds. Having a lover who enjoys giving you oral pleasure is one of the best things ever and having one that is also really good at getting you off seems like something that could only be found in your wildest fantasy, but there he is. His face is buried between your thighs with his tongue lapping hungrily, swirling and dipping inside you. “Oh… fff—” Your heels press into his back as his nose rubs against your clit, making you ache for more. “Bucky…”

Letting go of the couch with one hand, you grab onto the back of his head, twisting your fingers in his hair. “Yes… yes, oh God, baby...” Whimpering, you try not to rock too forcefully against his face but then you hear him growl again and suddenly his mouth has moved. His lips circle your clit, and he sucks hard and you can’t stop yourself from thrusting against him. “Oh fuck!” Your body begins to tremble, and you feel the warmth that’s been tingling in your belly begin to reach a steady boil. Bucky continues to greedily suck and lick at your soaked flesh making loud slurping noises until you’re squirming and crying out as the impending orgasm consumes you. 

He barely gives you time to recover before he moves your still trembling legs off of his shoulders. As he stands up, he guides you until you’re turned around and leaning over the back of the couch. You can’t help the sigh that leaves your lips as you let your body relax into the cushions for a moment while listening to the sounds of Bucky’s belt being unbuckled and his zipper sliding down. His hands soon return to you as he slides them up the back of your thighs, gathering the fabric of your dress and pushing it up over your bottom. The anticipation for what is about to come already has you clenching with want and you can feel your own slick trickling over your skin with each quivering pulse. A soft giggle escapes as you think about how needy you still get for him, and you wiggle your ass a bit. “Come on, baby, gimme that big dick.”

You hear him snicker and he lets you feel the heat of his cock against your thigh as he grips your hip with one hand to hold you steady. “This what you want, baby?” All you can do is whine as he glides his length over your skin. “Got me so hard tonight. All I could think about was how much I needed to be inside you.”

“Please…” you feel the head being dragged along your ass, pressing between your cheeks as he makes his way to your wetness. You whimper into the cushions, closing your eyes tightly as your body quivers with need. A need for the familiar yet delightful feeling of being forced open as he fills you completely.

*****

On Christmas Eve, you attend mass with Bucky because he asks you to. While its beautiful and uplifting, it’s also very awkward for you because while you’ve attended a few things with Bucky, it’s never been Steve behind the pulpit—if that’s even what they call it in the catholic church. You still aren’t up to speed on all the differences. Bucky explains it as best he can, but it’s a lot to learn when you’ve been a protestant your whole life. Afterwards, you go home and crawl into bed next to your husband to await Christmas morning.

The day turns out to be filled with joy and laughter. Early that morning, you visit both your parents for while then you go back home and spend most of the day alone together. Around three, you start making the holiday meal that you’d promised your friends and in which you had already agreed would be a joint effort between you and the master chef himself. As the Christmas music plays throughout the house, the two of you prepare a ham, and all the traditional trimmings including mashed potatoes and green bean casserole.

Later, when Katrina, Ben, and Steve arrive for dinner, all five of you gather around the table in your dining room. You had gone all out for the dinner party, decorating the dining room a bit more and setting the table with Christmas themed place mats, chargers, candles, napkin rings. Even the wine glasses that you set out were made of gorgeous, dark-green glass, with stems shaped perfectly like Christmas trees. Your table is beautiful even if you did say so yourself.

During dinner, the conversation is light. Steve talks about everything that has been going on at St. Mary’s for the holidays. Then Katrina and Ben catch you up on the progress of the new nursery they’re adding to their house as well as on Ben’s mother’s condition. You love your chosen family.

Afterwards, Katrina helps you clean up the kitchen and put the leftovers away while the men retreat to the living room to have a drink and to watch a re-airing of the Christmas Day Parade. You’d even made some more eggnog especially for the occasion.

“It’s nice having Steve home again,” Katrina says while she transfers what’s left of the ham into a plastic container. “I never realize how much I miss him until he’s back.”

“Yeah. I’m glad he’s home too.”

“How long is this position at St. Mary’s going to last? I’m sure he’s probably missing New York.”

“I don’t know,” You reply because you really have no idea. “It’s a temporary position and I know he’s had a lot to deal with in the last couple of months. As far as I know, they’re looking into some replacements, but it’s taking longer than planned.”

“No one wants to live in BFE. Not even priests.”

You can’t help but laugh at her remark. She’s not wrong. You do live in a small town, and no matter how tight knit of a community it is, there’s a lot of draw backs. Not everyone wants to live in a place where the most exciting thing that ever happens takes place at City Hall or at the local book shop. “I don’t think I would trade living here.”

“Me neither. Ben had talked about moving closer to his parents, but it was a no go for me. I’m not a fan of the city. We compromised and got the house he wanted in the place I wanted. We’re good.”

“I’m glad. And if I haven’t told you, I am so happy for you Kat. You’ve got an amazing husband and family. You’ve done well, girlfriend.”

“Thank you,” Katrina says with a fond smile. “You haven’t done so bad yourself.”

You smile too, knowing that she’s right. You’ve also done really well for yourself, and you’ve managed to make the right choices when it came to what really mattered. You glance towards the living room where you can see the three men lounging around and sipping on homemade eggnog. Right there, you think, is the best choice you’ve made in your life. He’s your reason for living, and you aren’t afraid to admit that you would be lost without him. It’s honestly hard to fathom how you ever had a life without him in it. “I know,” you finally agree as you go back to wiping down the counter tops.

Once you’ve finished in the kitchen you join the guys in the living room. You slip into the chair next to Bucky while Katrina sits down between Ben and Steve on the couch. “What’s up?” You ask, placing a kiss against Bucky’s cheek.

“Watching Mickey and Minnie,” he replies as he slips an arm around you and offers his glass of eggnog to you. “You ready to open gifts?”

“Whenever you guys are ready.” You’re not really in a hurry to rush the evening, but you can tell Bucky is excited about the gifting part of it.

“I say we get right to it,” Bucky says as he grabs the Santa hat that is laying on the stand next to him and puts it on his head. “Ho Ho Ho!”

“Lord you’re something else,” you say while shifting so he can get up.

Over the next few minutes, Bucky busies himself with passing out all of the gifts that were placed under the tree as everyone had arrived. Once he’s given out the last one, he sits on the floor in front of the chair you’re still sitting in and reaches for a gift out of his pile. “Who wants to go first?”

Everyone takes turns opening their gifts. You beam when you see the set of books that Katrina and Ben bought for you. It was your favorite series as a teenager, and you hadn’t been able to find a complete set anywhere. Leave it to Kat to remember something like that from so long ago. Then you open up a large green wicker basket containing a set of your favorite bath soaks that includes salts and bombs and huge bottle of bubble bath along with a poofy green loofa. It’s from your husband and he quickly promises that it isn’t all that he got you. However, you have to wait for the big one. The last gift that you open from your stack is from Steve. It’s a nice sized box, but not heavy so, you wonder what it could possibly be.

Once you open it, you realize it’s filled with tissue paper and a few other small boxes. The first one you open is the biggest and you laugh out loud at the saying on the colorful mug as you pull it from the box. “That’s awesome!”

“I thought it was fitting.”

The second box you open from amongst the tissue paper is a cinnamon scented candle. He knows you well, that much is clear. The third box, the smallest of the three, contains a silver bracelet with several tiny silver heart charms. It makes you smile, and Steve doesn’t hesitate to tell you that he thought it would go nicely with your necklace. You feel your heart skip in response to his words and you immediately touch the tips of your fingers against the silver locket that hangs around your neck. Honestly, there is rarely a day you go without it. The same is true for Bucky, although he usually keeps his tucked beneath his shirt. “Thank you, Steve.”

“It matches mine,” Katrina says as she shows you the bracelet that she’d received. It was the same as yours except in gold with stars instead of hearts.

“I’d be worried if he weren’t a priest,” Bucky tells Ben with laugh, and your know he’s just trying to lighten the mood.

“Right?” Ben agrees with a teasing laugh of his own.

Steve rolls his eyes and tosses a wad of tissue paper at Bucky’s head. “Shut up, Jerk.”

“Yeah, ya jerk,” Katrina adds. “Steve’s like a brother to me. Totally allowed to buy me nice things.”

“So,” You say to Bucky, determined to change the subject. “When do I get my other gift from you?”

“I don’t know. How badly do you want it?”

“Babe…”

Steve grins at you when Bucky quickly concedes to your whine and leaves the room to retrieve whatever he’s called the final gift. You lift a brow wondering what exactly is going on, because obviously Steve is privy to the surprise.

When Bucky returns, he’s carrying a large gift box with a removeable lid that’s sporting a large bow. As he hands it to you, he tells you to open it quickly. You give him a confused look, but before you can say a word, you hear a quiet mewling coming from the box.

“Oh my God, Bucky!” You know you’re probably squealing like a child, as you rip the lid from the box, to find a small ball of grey fur scurrying up the side of the box and meowing up a storm. “You got me a kitten?”

“You like her?”

“Are you kidding?” You scoop the kitten up into your arms and hold it close. “She’s beautiful!”

“She’s a purebred Russian Blue. I remember you saying you had one when you were young.”

You can only nod your head as tears spring to your eyes. “I love her already, Bucky; and I love you.” You lean over to kiss him. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. And the best part about her is that she’s already litter trained and all we have to do it show her where her litter box is.”

You can only smile at your husband because it’s obvious that he is proud of his gift to you. He has every right to be too. It’s the perfect gift. One that you couldn’t even have anticipated. You haven’t had a cat since before you’d moved out of your parents’ place because your apartment didn’t allow them, and growing up, your favorite cat had been the one you had as a teen. Although she hadn’t been a purebred, she was perfect, and up until now, you’d thought irreplaceable.

“What are you going to name her?” Steve asks.

“Um,” you pause, looking at the kitten as she looks back at you with grey-blue kitten eyes. “I don’t know yet.”

“Please tell me that you didn’t have her in that box all day.”

You glance at Katrina who was giving Bucky a piercing look, and then back to Bucky who glares at his cousin. Shaking his head and asking her if she really thinks so little of him. Apparently, Steve had brought her over with him and they kept her in a large pet carrier in the guest bedroom until Bucky went to get her. That would explain the look Steve had had on his face when Bucky went to get the kitten.

After Katrina and Ben leave a little while later, Bucky and Steve disappear to the den to set up the new game console that you’d got Bucky for Christmas, leaving you to spend the next few hours getting acquainted with your new friend. You’ve already fallen head over heels in love with her.

When the guys do come back out, you look up at them from the floor where you’re playing with her. “Sasha,” you say. “Her name is Sasha.”

“I like it,” Steve says while Bucky joins you on the floor, nodding his own approval. “It’s very elegant.”

“Just as she will be. It’s one of their traits.”

A little while later, Steve leaves and you and Bucky finish cleaning up the house—well, as much as you can with a rambunctious kitten skittering around under your feet. Bucky is amazed by her personality because he hadn’t been sure she’d take to a new home and new people so quickly. You’re not surprised though. Russian Blues love their people. It’s as they get older that they become more squeamish around strangers if they aren’t used to being exposed to new people.

When you finally go to bed, it’s in the wee hours of the morning and your mind is on a plan for how you can repay him for such a thoughtful and selfless gift.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Kudos and comment--especially comments--are always appreciated.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for the huge delay. My muses stopped cooperating for a while.
> 
> HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY to all who celebrate!

The morning after Christmas, you awake to find Bucky’s smiling face right in front of yours and a miniscule weight on the top of you head. You sigh sleepily and close your eyes again as the events from the previous day replay in your mind. “G’morning.”

“She’s sleeping on your head,” Bucky informs with a quiet laugh. 

“I know.” You reply, a small smile playing on your lips. “She’s purring away too.”

“Must be comfortable.”

“Yeah, she must. I am too, though.”

Bucky chuckles as you snuggle further into him. “You gonna start purring?”

“I might.” Bucky’s lips press warm against your cheek and your whole body feels like it just turned to liquid. You could stay like this forever, warm and safe in his embrace. “Do we have to get up?”

“Nope. We can sleep for as long as you and Miss Sasha want.”

“I don’t know about Sasha, but I want to sleep all day.” 

“Not even gonna make time to eat?”

“Nope. Too busy.”

You feel Bucky’s laughter as he pulls you in just a bit tighter and you wrap a leg around his hip, stuffing your foot between his thighs. His body is ever inviting and you’re more than happy to let yourself be wrapped up in it’s warmth.

When you awake the second time, it’s late in the afternoon and you’re alone. Even Sasha is gone. The smell of coffee is wafting up from downstairs, so you slip out of bed and grab the green satin robe that’s draped over the chair in the corner.

As anticipated, you find your husband in the kitchen making a very late breakfast of scrambled eggs and toast with a side of fresh fruit, which is what he’s working on cutting up at the counter next to the stove. You lean against the doorway, watching him quietly as he alternates cutting fruit and stirring the eggs. You see Sasha rubbing up against his ankles and meowing softly until he talks to her, his tone gentle and kind. You feel as though your heart is melting at the sight and you find yourself falling deeper in love with him as if that were even possible.

Sasha notices you first and she trots over to where you stand. “Good morning, sweet girl,” you say, crouching down to scoop her up. Bucky glances over his shoulder at you, grinning as he reaches to turn the heat off on the stove.

“We were going to bring you breakfast in bed,” he says while reaching to get a mug from the cupboard.

“Sorry for spoiling you plans, but I woke up and you were gone. Bed didn’t seem quite as cozy anymore.”

“My stomach was demanding food and little furball there was pretty insistent on getting fed too,” he explains while pouring a cup of coffee as you walk over to stand next to him. He leans over to give you a chaste kiss. “Good morning… again.”

“Thanks, love.” You take the steaming mug of coffee that he offers after adding the creamer for you. “Merry day after Christmas.”

Bucky smirks. “Merry day after Christmas to you, too.”

“Are we still on for binge watching murder mysteries and stuffing ourselves with leftovers.”

“Absolutely. I even mixed up a fresh batch of sugar cookie dough for us to bake later if you’re up to it.”

“You’ve been busy this morning,” you note as you take a seat at the kitchen table, letting Sasha down as you do. “Did you make icing too?”

“Of course,” Bucky says nonchalantly as he sets two plates on the table. “Orange juice?”

“Coffee’s fine.”

The two of you share breakfast before moving into the living room where you spend a couple of hours curled up on the couch watching _Snapped_. You never even bothered to go change out of the nightie and matching robe that you are wearing. Lazy and comfortable were your only plans for the day. Bucky seems pretty content with the idea too as he hasn’t changed out of his flannel pajama pants either; and you certainly have no objections to him lounging around shirtless.

Eventually, you do head back into the kitchen to bake the cookies that Bucky had mixed up. Since Christmas is officially over, you use an assortment of cookie cutters including ones meant for Halloween and Thanksgiving. Of course, you favor the Halloween ones.

“So, have we made definite plans for New Year’s yet?” You ask while rolling out another ball of dough.

“Yes. Kat and Ben are coming over around six or seven. Steve has Mass at seven, but he said he would come over afterwards. It might be closer to ten by the time he gets here. I also invited Clint from work. If he comes, he will be bringing Natasha. Are you going to see if anyone from your office is coming this year?”

“Yeah. They probably will. I just haven’t asked yet because I wasn’t sure if we had it set in stone. Should I tell them around eight? That way we will have time to get everything set up and ready. What all do I need to get?”

Bucky shrugs and reaches to grab another pan to put the cut cookies on. “Eight sounds like a plan. As far as what we need; snacks, drinks, booze…”

“Ben and Kat are in charge of spirits,” you say while making a mental list of things including party hats and noise makers.

“You don’t find it odd that the pregnant woman is the one supplying the alcohol?”

“It was their idea to bring the drinks. I encouraged them not.” You see the incredulous look that Bucky gives you. “Hush. You know Ben brings the best stuff.”

Bucky sighs, knowing that he can’t argue with that. It’s been proven over the past two years that Ben has great taste when it comes to picking adult beverages. Bucky picks up the pan of cookies and places them in the oven next to the pan that’s already in there. “What are we going to do with all these cookies?”

“Share them with our friends on New Year’s Eve.” You say it as if it were the most logical thing in the world. “It’s one less thing we will have buy or make.”

Bucky picks up a tombstone shaped cookie. “Rest in Peace. That’s the perfect message we want to give going into a new year.”

Cookie baking and then decorating takes another hour or so and then you find yourself back on the couch with Bucky laying behind you, and Sasha curled up in your arms while you watch more murder mysteries on the TV and wait for the pizza you ordered for dinner to be delivered. It’s peaceful and you crave days like this where you and Bucky can just be lazy together. With your jobs and his classes, it’s rare that you get to have them.

“I hope you’re not getting ideas from watching this show,” Bucky comments after a while.

You can’t help the chuckle that escapes your lips at the mere idea. Turning slightly in his embrace, careful not to disturb Sasha, you glare up at him. “Don’t ever give me a reason…”

His eyes are shining bright as they stare into yours. Just as he opens his mouth to speak, the doorbell rings and Sasha skitters from her spot to see what’s going on. “Saved by the bell,” Bucky quotes. “I’ll go get the pizza. You get plates and drinks?”

You agree, noticing that Bucky didn’t grab a shirt to cover up his prosthetic when he headed to the front door. That alone makes your heart happy. Knowing that he’s more comfortable letting people see it now assures you that you and Steve and even your other friends have done a good job with reassuring him that he’s whole and perfect just the way he is.

Your trip to the kitchen is quick and, on your way, back, you hear Bucky chatting with the pizza delivery guy as he pays him. When he returns to the living room, he’s smiling and holding up a paper flyer. “So, the delivery guy just gave me this.”

“Is it free pizzas for life?”

“Discounted admission to the ice rink. Tomorrow only,” he explains. “There’s also coupons for some of the vendors on here.”

“Lemme see.” You grab the paper from him as he sets the pizza down on the coffee table. Some of the local businesses had sponsored an outdoor skating rink in the park on the weekends for the whole month of December. “You wanna go? It’s the last weekend.”

He shrugs his shoulders as he gently shoos Sasha from the coffee table that she’s jumped up on, having smelled the delicious aroma. “Could be fun.”

“Maybe Steve would be up for it as well?”

Bucky nods his head while he puts pizza out on the plate that you’d brought from the kitchen. “I’ll shoot him a text after while.” He hands you one of the plates. “He might be able to go between services.”

“I have laundry to do anyway, so we don’t have to go at any certain time. Whatever works.”

That’s exactly how your Saturday goes too. You wake up early to do a few loads of laundry that you’d been putting off all week. Afterwards, you go with Bucky and Steve to the park for ice skating. That turns out to be an interesting trip. You think you may spend more time picking yourself up—or getting picked up—off the ice than you actually spend skating. You begin to question whose bright idea it had been in the first place. Bucky, of course, tells you to blame the pizza guy because otherwise neither of you would have even thought about it. Eventually, you throw in the towel and ask for a trip to the local burger joint. Bucky and Steve are both happy to comply, but not before you get hot chocolate from one of the park vendors.

“I think my whole ass is going to be bruised,” you mumble as you slide gingerly a booth once you’ve placed your orders. You hear Steve snicker, but when you look at him from across the table, he’s got his eyes focused on his phone where he’s typing away at a message. “Thanks for the sympathy.”

“I’ll take care of it for you,” Bucky teases in a whisper from his spot next you. That, of course, makes you lean in, grinning as you ask him if he promises to kiss it an make it better. His only response is a wink as he unravels his scarf from around his neck.

“If it makes you feel any better, I think I have a nice size bruise of my own,” Steve finally speaks as he lays his phone down on the table and begins to take off his coat. “You weren’t the only one falling all over the ice. I haven’t been ice skating in years.”

“That does make me feel marginally better,” you say just as your orders are placed in front of you. “Good Lord, that looks so good.”

“When was the last time we went skating?” Bucky asks.

“Probably sometime while we were still in high school. Unless you count the time we went to Rockefeller center.”

“We don’t count that time,” Bucky says with a grimace.

“I feel like there is a story here.” You lift a brow looking across the table to Steve who looks at Bucky as he takes a bite of his fully-loaded, bacon cheeseburger.

“There is,” Bucky says, glaring at Steve. “I didn’t want to go. At the time, I’d only had this,” he taps his left shoulder, “for about a year and I wasn’t all that graceful when it came to balancing the new difference in weight. Steve insisted that we go. What was the reason you said I should try it?”

Steve shrugged, wiping his mouth with a napkin and glancing at his phone again as it went off. He picked it up and typed a quick reply before answering Bucky. “I thought it would help you learn to shift your weight. I had no idea you’d look like such a flailing mess out there.”

“It was super embarrassing.”

You frown, giving Bucky a sympathetic look. “He was only trying to help.”

“You’re supposed to be on my side,” he whines to which you only pat him on the shoulder and return to your own food.

During the time that the three of you are eating your meals, Steve’s phone goes off at least a dozen more times interrupting your conversation. You can tell he’s getting more distressed every time he types a reply, but no one questions it. Eventually when it buzzes again, he reads the message and sighs heavily before he begins to gather up his trash. “I hate to do this,” he explains, “but I’ve gotta run.”

“You need a ride?” Bucky asks as he watches Steve stand up and pull his coat and scarf back on.

“No. It’s only a few blocks away. You guys stay and finish your food. I’ll talk to you later.”

“Everything ok?” You ask, knowing that it’s probably not considering the faces he was making while texting.

Steve nods. “Yeah. Just a family coming in for counseling in a little bit. I have to go get ready.”

“That doesn’t sound like fun,” you say to Bucky once Steve has gone. 

“It can get rough sometimes,” Bucky explains, picking up his drink. “A lot of times it’s just couples on the verge of divorce searching for one last hail Mary to save their marriage.”

“Who better to go to than a priest,” you quip.

Bucky lifts a brow, and you can tell he’s a little irritated by your joke. “Because priest have no experience with it, they can’t possibly know anything about it, right?”

“I didn’t…”

“No, it’s ok. I tend to get a bit defensive when it comes to that subject. Sure, priest usually don’t have real life experience with marriage, so I get that it’s a legit concern. However, in biblical terms, priests are experts; and that’s ultimately what people are looking for. They’re searching for reasons that they shouldn’t just give up.”

“So, what’s Steve gonna tell them? That the bible says till death do us part and all that?” Your husband is shaking his head before you even finish. “Ok. Enlighten me. If it were you, what would you tell them?”

“We were taught to approach it with spiritual guidance. That’s usually what they’re trying to find anyway. A connection with God, something bigger than themselves. I’d pray with them and for them, and I’d offer advice on how to work through their issues whatever they may be. We had to take classes on this stuff, so we’d know how to effectively help people. The methods do actually work if they really want them to. It just takes time, patience, and commitment.”

You swirl a fry around in the cup of ketchup on your tray as you contemplate what Bucky is saying. “What if they’re not meant to be together?”

“Then it is what it is. It’s usually a sad situation, but in most cases, all parties are better off going their own separate ways instead of living in misery. Doing anything other than separating just causes hatred and resentment.”

“I love you,” you say with a fond smile which makes Bucky give you a strange look. “Because you’re you and you view everything with such optimism and patience. You make me a better person.”

With an adoring smile, Bucky leans in and presses his lips to yours in a chaste kiss, not caring that you’re sitting in a public restaurant. “I love you, too.”

*****

When New Year’s Eve arrives, as planned, you and Bucky both work all day before coming home to get the house ready for your guests. Katrina and Ben show up first, followed by Bucky’s friend from the shop and his girlfriend. He brought along his cornhole game in which he and Bucky set up in the basement. Then a few of your own co-workers and their spouses arrive, providing even more drinks because they didn’t want to come empty handed.

Steve shows up around ten. He doesn’t say too much though, just a quick hello to everyone that he knows; and then he finds a vacant seat in the corner of your living room. You furrow your brow and grab a beer from the tub of ice before heading his way. It’s not like Steve to just disappear into the shadows so quickly after arriving. “Can I offer you a drink, Steven?” You ask as you sit down on the chair arm next to him.

“Thanks.” He smiles up at you, accepting the cold bottle. “Looks like a nice little party you all have going on here.”

With a small grin and a nod, you observe your guest all milling around, conversing, or playing some of the games that you’d made available. “The usual,” you say. “Bucky and I don’t really like going out for New Year’s Eve, so we just started having a little get together at our place. I’m glad you’re here this year.” It isn’t untrue. You are glad to have him there. This is the third holiday so far that you’ve been able to celebrate with both Bucky and Steve since Steve’s return, and it feels nice. It feels more complete.

“Me too. Sorry I’m so late though.”

“No worries. You hungry? We have cookies and snacks in the kitchen.”

“I’ll get something later,” he says glancing around the room once more before noticing the small, mesh bag hooked around your wrist. “What’s with the chocolate kisses?”

“Oh! I almost forgot. These are for you.” You pull the string, letting it loose from your wrist. “Kat came up with some games for tonight. Each of us women were given ten kisses at the beginning of the party. It’s the men’s job to collect as many as possible by midnight. The winner gets a prize.”

“So, you’re giving me some free ones?”

A soft smile forms on your lips. “Well, seeing as you’re a couple hours late, I didn’t want to you be too far behind, and I don’t give my kisses to just anyone, ya know. I split them. Five for you, and five for Bucky.”

“Thanks, Sweetheart. Speaking of Buck, where is he?”

“Probably still down in the basement with Ben and a few others. Clint brought his cornhole game and they’ve got some fierce competition going on down there,” you explain. “Did you have a good turnout for the service tonight?”

“Sanctuary was packed.” With a sigh, he relaxes back into the chair, bringing the bottle to his lips for a drink before continuing. “I tried to keep it short though. I know people had places to be and honestly, I was looking forward to coming here.”

“You look tired.” You can’t help but notice the puffiness under his eyes and the fact that he’s not smiling as freely as he usually does. “You ok?”

“Yeah, it’s just been a long week,” he says without further explanation.

“Well, hopefully you’ll get to relax a bit tonight. I’m going to go grab myself another drink and see if Kat needs any assistance with the next game she’s going to make everyone play.” Just as you’re about to get up, Clint walks by and you grab his arm. “Hey! Have the two of you met?” You point towards Steve sitting in the armchair.

Clint shakes his head, looking at Steve who is in agreement. “I don’t think so.”

“This is our friend Steve,” you say cheerily. “Steve, this is Clint. He works with Bucky at the bike shop.”

“Steve!” Clint exclaims with a wide smile at the same time he reaches a hand to Steve. “The best friend from New York. Nice to finally meet you. I’ve heard a lot about you.”

“That’s a terrifying thought,” Steve jokes, sitting up a little bit straighter as he shakes Clint’s hand. “I hope you don’t believe everything Bucky has told you.”

You leave the two of them to get acquainted while you go to find Katrina who is getting things ready for the next game she has planned. She hands you a bucket full of pens and note cards when she sees you approaching. She then tells you pass one out to everyone as she heads over to the basement door. You chuckle to yourself and start passing out the contents of your pail as she yells down the steps, telling everyone to come up. When she gets some resistance, she uses her pregnancy and lack of being able to consume any alcohol to guilt them into coming up to indulge her with the games.

“What game are we playing now?” Bucky asks you when he reaches the top of the stairs and you hand him a pen and a note card.

“I have no idea. I’m just the helper.” You point into the living room. “Steve is here, by the way. I left him alone with Clint.”

“I should probably go rescue him then.” Bucky winks at you as he takes the pen and note card. “Thanks, doll.”

“Everyone gather around in the living room,” Katrina demands, ushering everyone into the room. “We’re going to play Two Resolutions and a Lie!”

The game turns out to be a lot of fun and takes up a large chunk of time. Everyone has to write down three things on their cards and then someone else reads it aloud for them while the rest of the guest tries to figure out which ones are actually resolutions and which ones are lies. By the time the game is over, it’s nearly time for the ball to drop, so you and Bucky step back into host mode and break out the champagne—apple juice for Katrina, party hats, and noise makers.

Everyone gathers around the TV as the countdown starts. This is your favorite thing about New Year’s, getting to share that first kiss of the year with Bucky. It feels like a promise renewed, and no matter what, it always makes you feel so deliriously happy. Sure, it could be the sounds of celebration around you or the thrill of having your anticipation rewarded that makes you so giddy. Either way, though, sharing a sweet kiss with your husband just as a new year begins is a tradition you will always cherish.

This year is no different when it comes to the sheer delight that you feel as the countdown ends, and the ball comes to a rest at the bottom of the flagpole. After a noisy and quick toast to the new year, Bucky draws you in, kissing you and taking your breath away as he always does. You smile happily up at him as you part. His blue eyes sparkle, and his smile flashes radiantly as he whispers ‘Happy New Year’s’ to you.

Then you remember the one thing that is different this year. Steve is here this year; and while you desperately want to give him a New Year’s kiss similar to the one Bucky had just given you, you know that it isn’t possible. So, you simply turn to him and give him a tight hug and a kiss on the cheek. “Happy New Year’s, Stevie,” you whisper against his ear.

“Happy New Year’s, Darlin,” he responds, making you sigh happily as you let him go so you can make your way around to your guests.

Shortly after midnight when the celebration has calmed, Katrina grabs the gift that is meant to be the prize for the kiss collecting game. She goes around the room one by one, calling on the men in attendance to count their kisses. When she gets to Bucky he shrugs and says ‘zero’ which makes Katrina furrow her brow. “I know that’s not right.”

“I don’t have any,” he insists. “I ate them.”

Katrina groans, staring daggers at her cousin. “Fine. Steve?” 

“Um… nineteen.”

Katrina’s eyes grow wide. “Looks like we have a winner!”

“What was your secret?” Clint asks. “How did you get the women to give up all those kisses? My own girlfriend wouldn’t give me all of hers.”

“I guess they all felt sorry for me, knowing these were the only kisses I’d be getting tonight,” he says with a mischievous grin.

“Well played Father Steve,” Katrina glares playfully at him as she hands him the wrapped package and continues in a whisper. “If I’d known everyone was feeling sympathy towards you, I would have given my last three kisses to my hubby instead of you.”

“No, you wouldn’t have,” he whispers back in equal playfulness.

Later after saying goodbye to your last guest and locking up, you head back into the kitchen where Bucky is putting the leftovers away. “I vote we leave the mess until morning. Our bed is calling to me.”

“Me too. I’m just making sure the stuff that needs refrigerated is put away. I’ll be up in a few.”

You grin, as you start to leave the room. You pause at the door to look back at Bucky. “Don’t take too long. Since you were so generous with your kisses tonight, I’ve got plenty more to give you.”

There’s a smirk on Bucky’s face as he snaps the lid on another plastic food container. “How’d you know?”

“Math, baby.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your patience! Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed this "filler-ish" chapter. Comments are always appreciated! Love knowing your thoughts. 
> 
> More soon.... xoxo


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: I realize that talk of babies can be a trigger for some, so I wanted to put this out here just in case. Secondary character, Katrina, has her baby in the beginning of this chapter. There isn't a lot of content on the baby or birth specifically, but if it bothers you at all, skip the very first part.

Over the next month, you busy yourself with work and planning Katrina’s baby shower, which is held at the end of January, only two weeks before she goes into labor. When Ben text you that she’s gone into labor, you are beside yourself with both excitement and worry. It isn’t every day that your best friend gives birth to her first child.

Unfortunately, you can’t be at the hospital the whole time, but Ben makes sure that you’re kept updated one way or another; and when she’s finally done—sixteen hours later—they’ve got a healthy seven-pound little girl. You immediately call Bucky to tell him the news. He then promises to stop by the hospital after work once he’s had time to go home and clean up.

The hospital is a busy place when you get there around three in the afternoon. You had wanted to get there earlier, but things hadn’t gone quite as you’d planned for them to at work and you didn’t get out until later. As you’re walking towards the baby ward, you run into Ben in the hallway next to the nurses’ station. “Hey!” You exclaim, trying to contain your own excitement. “Congratulation, Ben! How’s everyone?”

“Great! Kat is good. Gracelynn is good. Ten fingers, ten toes. A head full of her mommy’s hair.”

You reach out to give him a friendly embrace. “And how’s Daddy?”

Ben grins, letting go of a long breath as you pull away from the hug. “He’s good. Was extremely nervous for a bit, but all good now,” he sighs. “Honestly, I don’t remember being that freaked out when Seth was born.”

“Oh,” you reassure him. “I’m sure you were.”

“Maybe,” he shrugs. “It was a different situation then, though. Uh, I’m heading down to the cafeteria to bring her back some snacks. She’s in the last room at the end of the hall.”

When you get to Katrina’s room, she’s smiles brightly at you from her bed where she’s holding a small bundle in her arms. “Hey, Auntie.”

You smile warmly at your best friend’s sentiment. “Hey, Mama.” Taking a seat on the edge of her bed, you peer down at the baby as she pulls the blanket down so you can look at her face. “Oh my God, she’s precious.”

“Do you wanna hold her? She just ate, so she should be satisfied for a little while.”

“Of course!” You reach for Gracelynn when Katrina holds her towards you. “Come here pretty girl,” you coo as you take her in your arms. “She’s so beautiful, Kat.”

You spend the next little while fawning over the baby and talking to Katrina while waiting for Ben to return. You can’t get over the fact that she’s a mom. For some reason it wasn’t something you ever thought of for her—it wasn’t something either of you had ever really aspired to be. In fact, Kat had been the one of your friends who had said absolutely no to kids. It was interesting to see how all of that had changed once Ben and Seth came into her life.

“What a fateful summer that was,” you murmur smiling down at Gracelynn.

“Huh?”

“The summer I met Bucky. Just think, if I hadn’t gone with you to the reunion and met Bucky and Steve, we probably wouldn’t have gone to the swimming hole the next year.”

“Well thank God I asked you to go with me,” Katrina says with a laugh.

You both turn your heads towards the sound of a male voice to see Steve standing in the doorway. “Motherhood already looks good on you.” His eyes are on you and Gracelynn, but you know he’s talking about Katrina; so you nod in agreement, looking toward your friend as Steve approaches and leans over to press a friendly kiss to her head. He then hands her a plush, pink teddy bear. “Congratulations, squirt.”

“Thanks,” Katrina beams as Steve takes a seat on the chair next to the bed.

“Where’s Ben and Bucky?”

“Ben went to get snacks,” Katrina says. “I think he might have got lost.”

Steve chuckles at her snarkiness. “And Buck? I thought he’d be here.”

“He will be later,” you explain. “He had a class this afternoon. You want to hold this gorgeous little babygirl?”

“Uh… no…,” he declines, looking a bit nervous. “Seems like you’re doing a fine job with it.”

“Good, because I didn’t want to give her up yet either.” You turn your attention away from Steve as his smile grows fonder. “Isn’t that right, Gracie Lou? We weren’t really looking forward to going to Uncle Steve anyway, were we?”

You continue to talk to the baby, but you’re still able hear Steve talking to Katrina—how he asks her if she’s feeling ok or if she needs anything. It warms your heart to know that Katrina means as much to him as she does to you and Bucky.

By the time Bucky arrives a little while later, it’s almost time for dinner. Ben had also returned, but after having been fed again, Gracelynn is back to sleeping in your arms despite the multiple times you’d tried to pass her off to Steve. “Hey,” Bucky says with a smile as he comes to stand next to the bed where you’re still sitting with Katrina.

“Hey,” you watch him stare down at Gracelynn. The look on his face is one of awe. “Isn’t she beautiful?”

“She looks like her mom,” Bucky notes after a moment, glancing up at Katrina who is beaming at the compliment.

“You think so?” Katrina asks. “I can’t tell.”

“I’d recognize that little nose and mouth anywhere,” he concludes. “Lord help her if she inherits your tongue though.”

Everyone laughs at Bucky’s playful jab to his cousin. Then you carefully stand up, letting Bucky sit down as you pass the baby over to him. He takes her carefully and continues to smile down at her. “You did good, Kat. She’s perfect.”

“Yeah, well, I wasn’t the only one involved, ya know?”

Bucky chuckles, nodding as he looks over to Ben who is leaning against the windowsill. “I know. Congrats, buddy.”

“Thanks.

You spend a little while longer with Katrina and Ben, and Bucky finally convinces Steve to hold Gracelynn. He doesn’t seem completely at ease at first, but by the time an aide comes in to announce that she has Katrina’s dinner, he does seem to have gotten the hang of it. He even looks happy to be getting to hold her.

A nurses’ aide eventually comes by and offers to take Gracelynn for her bath and to check her vitals and such while Katrina has her meal. Steve considerately hands over the small bundle and then stands. “I think I’m going to head out…”

“Hold up,” Bucky says, stopping Steve as he was leaning down to give Katrina another hug. “We’re going to grab dinner at the bowling alley. You want to join us?”

Steve sighs. “I can’t. I have a family coming in again at six-thirty. I’m barely going to have time to scarf down a sandwich. Thank you, though.” He hugs Katrina and then reaches across Katrina’s bed to shake Ben’s hand. “Again, congratulations! I’m happy for both of you.”

As Steve leaves, Bucky stands as well. “I guess we should probably go too, let you have dinner and get some rest before they bring her back.”

“Thank you for coming,” Katrina says. “I love you guys.”

“We love you, too,” you say as you lean in to give your friend a tight hug. “You’re gonna be a great mommy.”

*****

After stepping out of the shower, you spend about thirty minutes getting ready for work—early as usual because you want to get there in time to stop by the coffee shop. Once you’ve finished your make up, you slip into a black skirt and slip on an oversized, red sweater made of soft chenille. You then grab your black boots before heading downstairs. “Babe?”

“Kitchen!”

You drop your boots at the foot of the stairs where you can get them once you’re ready to head out the door. As you walk into the kitchen to find Bucky and tell him you’re leaving, you stop dead in your tracks when you see the kitchen table spread out with pink linen and about two dozen red and white roses. “Uh… Bucky?”

“Happy Valentine’s Day, my Love. I made you breakfast.”

“But I thought….” You walk further into the kitchen to stand next to Bucky who has pulled your chair out for you.

“I know,” Bucky says, “and we are going to do our thing tonight, but I wanted to surprise you.”

You look at the table again where Bucky has set it for two. There’s coffee and fruit and stacks of heart shaped pancakes topped with fresh strawberries and whipped cream. You reach for him, cupping his bearded face in your hands. “I am surprised,” you whisper before closing the space between your lips and his. “Thank you.”

Once again, he’s reminded you of one of the many reasons why you love him so much. He’s caring and thoughtful and always goes out of his way to make you feel loved. Sitting down, you decide that having breakfast with Bucky is infinitely better than the pastries at the coffee shop. You can have those any day. It’s rare when Bucky is actually able to have breakfast with you before you both leave for work and/or classes, you’re going to take advantage of it.

When you finally get to the office, the first thing that you notice is that there is a vase of three pink roses sitting on the corner of your desk along with a card and a cup of coffee from the shop across the street. You glance around the office and a few of your co-workers smile at you. Then Melinda, one of the ladies that had been at your New Year’s Eve party speaks up.

“Your hot priest friend, Steve, dropped that off about ten minutes ago. Doing hubby a favor, I suppose.”

You smile, nodding in appreciation as you reach for the card. You have to reign in another smile as you read the words written on the card. It is a simple and innocently platonic Valentine’s message that warms your heart, and even though there is no name on the card; signed only with an _XOXO_ , you know it isn’t meant to be from Bucky. Reaching for your phone that is in your purse, you text a message to Steve.

_“Thank you! Especially for the coffee. Much appreciated since I was running late this morning. :D Sure you know all about that though, right? Make sure to stop by the house either this afternoon when Bucky gets home or meet me at the coffee shop in the morning. Buck and I have a little something for you. Happy Valentine’s Day! XOXO.”_

“Those are beautiful,” Melinda points out as you take a seat at your desk. “Your man spoils you.”

There is no doubt that the warm tingling you feel in your cheeks is a blush creeping up as your co-work speaks the obvious truth. “That he does. He made me breakfast this morning too. Heart-shaped pancakes, to be precise.”

“Aw, so he’s cute and thoughtful,” Melinda comments with a sigh. “I’ve yet to see if my husband even remembers that it’s Valentine’s Day.”

“I’m sure he will,” you say, trying to reassure her as you put the card inside your purse and tuck them both away in the bottom drawer of your desk. “Were there any messages this morning?”

Melinda nods and heads back to her desk to grab the stack of sticky-notes she’s made for you. Just like that, the morning is off to a start as it would be any other morning—all Valentine’s shenanigans forgotten.

Except they’re not. The hours seem to pass by extra slow and all you can think about is getting home to Bucky. You’ve got plans for dinner at one of your favorite restaurants followed by an evening at home which you hope includes hours of lovemaking. You’d bought the perfect piece of lingerie to wear for this occasion too. It’s an open cup, crotchless teddy made of sheer, red lace. You’d even bought cute, heart-shaped pasties to go along with it. You only do that kind of thing on special occasions and the anticipation of Bucky’s reaction already has you on edge. It’s making it hard to concentrate on the piece you’re editing for the next issue of the newspaper, too. So, by the time you’re ready to go home, you’ve given up, deciding to finish it the next morning.

When you finally do get to go home, Bucky is in the living room. He’s already showered and exchanged his work clothes which probably consisted of a pair of dirty jeans and a fitted tank top, for something a little more refined. He’s currently flipping through the channels, no doubt just killing time, waiting for you to get home. There’s a mischievous smile on his face when he sees the flowers. “You brought me flowers?”

Your eyes narrow as you stare at him, knowing that he already knows about the flowers. “These were on my desk this morning. My, and I quote ‘hot priest friend’ dropped them off.”

“They actually called him that?” He’s surprised, but also amused by the fact that your co-workers find Steve sexy without regards to his profession. Neither of you can blame them, though. As you’ve often said, it should be a crime for a priest to look like Steve does. Honestly, you feel that they’re just asking for sacrilege.

“Melinda did! I’m just glad she thought he was doing you a favor instead of reading more into it.” You set the vase on the end table next to a box of chocolates with Bucky’s name scrawled on it. “Did you give him the giftbag I left?”

“Yep. He said thank you,” Bucky replies as he leans back against the couch cushions and throws his arms out across the back. “Ya know, I’m offended that your co-workers thought I would only give you three roses.”

“Don’t worry, I told them about breakfast,” you say with a smile before taking a moment to appreciate his appearance, all in black with a red, silk tie; you chew on your lower lip, letting your earlier thoughts come back to the forefront of your mind. Your heart flutters in your chest with the additional knowledge that he took extra time and measures for the occasion; like styling his short hair into a messy coif and trimming his beard. Too bad all of his efforts are about to be in vain. 

You move to stand in front of him, bending down until you’re at eye level. “Did you get all dressed up for me?” You inquire, giving him your most seductive look as your fingers curl around his tie.

His eyes boar into yours and he smirks. “Maybe?”

“Mmm.” You move closer, breathing in his scent as you settle astride his lap, letting your knees sink into the cushions on either side of his thighs. He’s wearing your favorite cologne too—a masculine blend of musk, spice, and mahogany. It fills your senses with even more want. “I’ve been thinking about you all day,” you whisper breathily against his ear as your hands slide over his chest. He sighs softly at the touch of your fingertips against his neck. There’s little doubt that he doesn’t know what your intentions are. Even less when you lean in to kiss him.

“We have reservations,” he mumbles between kisses despite his hands already settling on your hips.

“We have time.” You trail kisses along his jaw while your fingers work at the knot in his tie. Honestly, you just need to take the edge off to keep yourself from climbing him in public. “I couldn’t concentrate on work at all today because of you.”

Your face is still buried in the crook of his neck, sucking and kissing on warm skin when you hear him quote Austin Powers which makes you snort ungracefully. “Oh my God! Don’t ever do that again!” You’re still smiling at your husband as you sit up, purposefully letting your center brush against his crotch quickly wiping the playful look right off his face in favor of a tortured scowl. “But to answer your question; yes, darling. You make me very horny.” You roll your hips again, feeling the slight bulge that’s forming between you. “And from what I can tell, I might be having the same effect on you.”

Bucky beams up at you, tilting his head at the just the right angle for you to kiss him again. “Always,” he admits right before your mouth covers his. His hands slip beneath the back of your sweater. The sudden touch of cool metal on your heated skin makes you gasp sharply and pull away from his lips as they curve into a coy grin.

“Shit… You’d think I’d be used to that by now.”

“Sorry… I should warn you first.”

“No. Please don’t. I like he thrill of it.” Truthfully, you love it. His metal arm has never been a turn off to you. It’s just sometimes you get caught up in the moment and forget. Like in that instant, you were so caught up in kissing him that his initial touch was a bit of a shock. Now he’s just teasing you, gliding his metal fingers up and down your spine, making you shiver.

That same hand then moves around to your front to grasp your bra covered breast. You can still feel the coolness through the thin material, and you whimper feeling your nipple already perk up. “Bucky…” You reach for his flesh hand and guide it beneath your skirt, wanting him to feel exactly what he’s done to you.

Bucky groans in earnest as his fingers come in contact with your sopping panties. “Fuck, doll.”

You giggle, cupping his face with your hands. “I told you… God, baby all I kept thinking about was getting your hands on me and feeling you inside me. I can’t wait for later. I want…”

“Yeah… Yeah, ok,” Bucky concedes breathlessly reaching to undo his own pants and shove them hastily down just enough to be out of the way. You whimper in delight as his fingers move back to your center, rubbing roughly against the slick material.

Reaching down, you take his length in your hand, feeling him shudder beneath you as you begin to stroke him. With his free arm, he pulls you in for another heated kiss and shoves your panties to the side with the other so he can push two fingers inside your slippery entrance. The sudden penetration has you moaning into his mouth with delight.

Several moments later, his full length replaces his fingers, and you slide down slowly, satisfying the ache inside. You will never tire of feeling the way you do when he’s pushing inside of you. The way his girth fills you. Just the feeling of being stretched around him causes the wires in your brain to short circuit and set you on your way to what you know will be a fantastic orgasm.

“That’s it, baby girl,” he groans, biting down on his lip as he’s enveloped in your warmth. “That what you wanted?”

You nod, unable to communicate anything more than whimpers as you become seated in Bucky’s lap. After all this time, you still need a moment to adjust to him. Bucky is patient, letting you take as long as you need to get used to the feeling as he grabs for the hem of your sweater. Lifting your arms, you let him pull it over your head before you lean in claiming his lips again at the same time you reach for the buttons on his shirt. One by one, you begin popping them open until you reach the last one.

As his shirt falls open, he sits up, pulling you against him, chest to chest—skin to skin as his fingers move up to tangle in your hair and his mouth moves from yours. His breath is hot against your neck, making you shiver as he whispers, “You feel so good, baby…” He nips at your neck while your nails dig into his back through the shirt that’s still hanging open.

“You too,” you breathe heavily moving both hands around to press your palms against his chest. “Lay back. Let me ride you properly.”

Bucky groans blissfully, and complies, falling back against the couch cushions—giving you room to work. His hands land on your thighs, pushing your skirt up higher so he can see where your bodies meet. When he does finally look up again, his blue eyes wander over your mostly bare skin, lingering on your breasts as his tongue runs along his lower lip. The want you see etched on his face has your own lips spreading into a slow grin. You keep your eyes trained on his face as you reach behind your back to unclasp your bra. As it falls loose, you toss it to the side.

Just as you’d anticipated, he wastes no time in reaching up to cup your breasts. “Hmm,” you moan, feeling his capable hands lifting and squeezing them. You remain still in his lap, taking a moment just to enjoy the thrill of being full along with his gentle caress. Another soft moan escapes when his thumbs slide over your nipples creating a spark of pleasure that ripples through your whole body.

“So responsive… So sexy…”

Carefully, you lean slightly backwards, resting your hands on his knees for leverage as you begin moving. Your hips roll slowly at first, grinding down on his length, making sure he can feel you all around him. “God, Bucky, I love how you feel inside me…”

“Love being inside you, babydoll.” There’s an appreciative look on Bucky’s face as his eyes flicker up to meet yours. “‘Specially this way.”

“Yeah?” You tease, clenching around his cock as you lift your hips slowly before lowering them back down. “You like it when I’m on top?”

His hands move, trailing down your sides until they take hold just above your hips. You whimper at the feeling of his metal one gripping just a bit tighter than his flesh one that is warm on your skin. “You know I do.” He gasps when you swivel, grinding harder and taking him even deeper. “Fuck, doll, please…”

The next several moments feel like an eternity as you move on top of Bucky, gyrating and bouncing until he finally pulls you down on top of him, kissing you hungrily and growling into your open mouth as your sweat slick bodies merge. You feel him getting harder inside of you and his breath is growing more ragged. “Bucky….” You gasp, knowing that he’s close. “I’m almost there, baby.” You cry out, feeling him finally put his hips into it. “Fuck…. Yes….” The gradual release that has been building inside you begins to escalate, and you feel the fire in your belly as your legs begin to tremble.

“Come on… Darlin,” he pants. “Want….You… Come first.” He substantiates by reaching between your bodies and rubbing a thumb in circles around your clit.

“Fuck!” You shout feeling the dam break and your muscles spasm uncontrollably as your orgasm flows blissfully over you. You barely register Bucky calling out your name and slamming your still quivering body down so he can empty deep inside you.

After long moments of just clinging to one another and breathing heavily, you press your forehead to his, mumbling breathlessly as you come down. “God, I needed that.”

Bucky smirks. “Apparently I did to.” He reaches up to brush your damp hair off of your cheek. “Our reservation is in thirty minutes. We should probably go get ready…. Again.”

You laugh softly. “Yeah.”

*****

Weeks later on a Friday in early March, Bucky is alone, working late at the bike shop’s garage when he hears the side door open and close. He looks up from his task of changing the brake pads on an old Harley to see who is there. A grin spreads over his lips when he sees his friend walking across the dirty, concrete floor of the garage to join him. “Hey! What brings you by?”

“Well,” Steve holds up a medium-sized, giftwrapped box. “Someone has a Birthday on Sunday and since he and the missus are going out of town for the weekend, I wanted to make sure he got his gift.”

“Aw…” Bucky can’t fight his grin as he gets up from the floor where he’s been sitting on his knees. “You shouldn’t have.”

“I can take it back,” Steve shrugs. “I mean, if you don’t want it…”

Bucky takes a moment to wipe the grease from his flesh hand and remove the latex glove from his metal one. Then he places his hands on his hips and gives Steve a curious stare. “Is it more chocolate?”

“No.”

“A puppy?”

Steve snickers looking at the box in his hands. “Uh, no.”

“Then nope. Don’t want it.”

Steve rolls his eyes and grins at his friend as he hands over the package. “One of these days, I’m going to take you seriously.”

“No. You won’t.” Bucky hastily opens the package to find the small box stuffed with tissue paper and two MLB tickets. Bucky’s mouth falls open as he lifts the tickets from the box. “For real?”

“I thought it would be a nice weekend getaway for you guys.”

“Uh… You don’t wanna go?” Bucky furrows his brow, a little confused because he and Steve had always gone to those games together when they managed to get tickets. It had been their thing since their first year in New York. Whenever those two teams had a rare match up, they tried to make it a point to go.

“Nah. I don’t know what I’ll be doing come summer and I might not be able to get away.”

“But it’s the Dodgers and the Yankees, Steve. We’ve always…”

“I know. I’ll go next time.”

Bucky sets the box containing the tickets to the side and reaches to hug Steve. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. And tell your wife that I expect her to cheer for the right team.”

Another grin breaks out on Bucky’s face as he thinks about the idea of you cheering on his favorite baseball team. “Well, I’ll have to teach her a thing or two. She’s not big into baseball.”

“Teach her right,” Steve warns as Bucky pulls back to look up at him. He swallows thickly forcing himself to ignore what he sees in his best friend’s eyes. “I should be going. I…I just wanted to drop that off and tell you to have a safe trip.”

“Steve,” Bucky says, his demeaner more somber now. “Seriously, man. Thank you. This is one of the best gifts ever.”

“You’re welcome, Buck.”

Bucky’s eyes briefly flit down to gaze at Steve’s pouty lips before moving back up to meet his eyes.

“Bucky?” The question is silenced by the weight of Bucky’s mouth against Steve’s own. It takes every ounce of Steve’s strength to keep from reacting too quickly; to keep from recoiling. But Bucky’s lips are soft and warm—familiar, and oh God, has Steve missed them. Despite his determination not to give in to his own temptations again, Steve feels himself giving in; feels himself falling.

A trembling sigh escapes Bucky lips when he feel’s Steve’s part as the tension leaves his body. He reaches up to slide a hand around to the back of Steve’s head where he holds him as their kiss deepens. Fingers trace, lips caress, and tongues touch—savoring the taste of each other for the first time in nearly two years.

Moments later, it’s Steve who finally pulls away causing a soft whimper from the other man. His hands still cradle Bucky’s face and their foreheads are resting against each other’s. “Buck…”

“Sorry…” Bucky sighs, relishing in the warmth of Steve’s breath flowing over his wet lips.

“Don’t be. I kissed you too,” Steve says with a gentle smile. “But uh, I do have to go.”

Bucky nods. “Yeah. I’ll see you later?”

Steve nods his head, still holding Bucky’s face in his hands, unwilling to let go too soon. “Love you, Bucky. Have a great weekend. Be safe, and Happy Birthday.” Then finally, he presses another lingering kiss to Bucky’s forehead before turning to go.

Later that night, Bucky stretches out on the couch laying his head in your lap while you search for something to watch on TV. After a few minutes of silence, you look down, wondering why he’s been so quiet. You find him simply staring up at you, so you give him a curious smile. “What?”

He shrugs slightly, letting a small smile play on his lips. “Can’t I just look at you?”

“You can, but you’re being super creepy about it.”

A low chuckle escapes Bucky’s lips and he shakes his head slightly. “Sorry,” he offers up the weak apology, but doesn’t bother to change his actions any. “I need to tell you something.”

“Ok,” you say, looking down again, this time giving him your undivided attention. “What’s going on?”

“I kissed Steve today.”

Your eyebrows quirk and you stare questioningly at your husband. It isn’t really a surprise, but at the same time, it is because absolutely nothing had happened between either of you and Steve since before you and Bucky officially tied the knot. Steve had been clear about how he needed to focus on his job, on his relationship with God, and to do better with not letting temptation win in his personal life. “Wow, how did he react to that?”

“It was more of a mutual action, I guess. He kissed back. I just… It feels like,” he shrugs slightly as he toys with the strings on his hoodie. “I needed to tell you.”

“Baby,” you say, your tone gentle and loving as you reach to run your fingers through the scruff on his chin. “You know it’s ok. We have an agreement when it comes to Steve, remember?”

“I know. But I still want to be honest and open with you about it, and” Bucky hesitates, looking away for a second before continuing. “I want you do the same with me.”

“Of course. I’d never keep something like that from you.” The fact that he’s worried about it concerns you a little bit, but you don’t let it show. “So, what happened after the kiss?”

“Nothing,” Bucky sighs. “He left.”

Your fingers still their movement on his cheek and you glance down into his blue eyes. “Is everything ok?”

“I think so,” he explains. “I mean, he seemed ok afterwards. It was just a kiss, right?”

“HmmMmm,” you agree. “Just a kiss.” You don’t push the issue, but you do wonder if Bucky has been thinking of Steve as much as you have been or maybe even more. “What do you want to watch?”

“Something that doesn’t require me to think a lot,” he replies.

So, you find something on TV and you’re about fifteen minutes into the show when you notice that Bucky is still restless and really not into the show at all. Concerned, you pause the show and look down at him. “Babe?”

“Hmm?”

“You want to talk?”

“I feel guilty.” Bucky’s voice is quiet, but you manage to hear it loud and clear in the silence of your living room.

“Over the kiss?”

“No.” He shakes his head and turns back over in your lap so he can look back up at you again. “Over how it made me feel.”

You sigh, giving him a warm, but empathetic smile as you thread your fingers through his dark brown locks, letting your nails scrape along his scalp. “How’s that?”

“You really have to ask?” Bucky glances up, giving you an incredulous look.

“I was just making sure.” You sigh. “It’s ok to want, Bucky. When you love someone, it’s natural.”

“I know, but it doesn’t make me feel any less shitty considering all the facts. One being that I’m married to a beautiful, sexy, queen who keeps me fully satisfied…” He smiles up at you when you give him a look of pride. “And two, Steve made it abundantly clear that we weren’t going to do that again.”

“Well, all things considered, you still shouldn’t feel guilty about it. I know how you feel about Steve. It’s not a secret and I’m ok with it; and Steve—despite what he’s decided—he understands because no matter what, he feels the same way about you.”

“Mmm,” he sighs heavily and begins to sit up. “We should probably get to bed soon. Early start in the morning.”

You nod in agreement and get up, turning the TV off. The plan was to get moving before sunup because the traffic isn’t as bad at that time of the morning, plus you wanted to arrive in time to get checked into your cabin and check out the slopes. You’d booked a weekend at a resort in Michigan for Bucky’s birthday. The two of you haven’t had a chance to really get away since your honeymoon, so it was a well-deserved and welcome vacation—even if it’s only for a weekend. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading. Kudos and especially comments are appreciated. :)


	6. Chapter 6

After hours of skiing and just trapsing around the mountain to take in the sights, you make it back to the tiny cabin that you’d rented for the weekend. There’s a small landing just inside the door where you stop with the intentions of taking off your ski boots and pants so that you don’t track snow through the cabin. However, Bucky has other ideas.

“You look so sexy,” he murmurs as he draws you in against him before you can even start removing your gear.

“Babe, I look like the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man right now.”

“It’s cute,” he insists, nipping at your chin.

“You’re cute.”

“I know,” he agrees with a slow, teasing grin crawling across his lips as he moves to kiss your lips.

At that moment, your stomach decides to make your hunger known causing both of you to laugh aloud. “I think maybe we should get dinner, don’t you?”

He agrees, letting you go so you both can shed the layers of ski gear you’ve got on. You hang your pants and coat on the hooks by the door and place your boots in the tray on the floor before turning to him. “How about you go get a fire going in the fireplace, and I can get started on dinner?”

Once again, he nods in agreement, so you head off into the kitchen while Bucky finishes taking off his ski pants. The cabin is small, so you can watch him as you fill a pot with water for pasta. He’s now wearing a pair of jeans and a black sweater over a white t-shirt—gorgeous as ever as he kneels down to arrange the wood in the hearth. After nearly five years together, just the sight of Bucky Barnes still manages to give you butterflies. A delighted smile creeps onto you face at the very thought of how much happiness he’s brought into your life and you watch him work, wistfully hoping that feeling never diminishes.

“Did you have fun today?” He calls to you over his shoulder, bringing you out of your reverie.

“I did. I haven’t been skiing in forever, so it was nice to get out there. How about you? I mean, it sure looked like you were having a good time.”

“It was fun, but honestly I don’t know if I want to do it all over again tomorrow,” he says while striking a match to set fire to the little bundle of kindling he’s placed beneath the wood.

With a small smile on your lips, you reach into the refrigerator to pull out the fresh vegetables you’d bought at the supermarket on your way into town. “I know what you mean,” you assure him. You’d actually anticipated one solid day of skiing would be enough, so you’d also booked a horse drawn carriage ride as well as a couple’s massage at the spa for Sunday; but Bucky doesn’t know that yet. “Any ideas on what you would like to do?” You jump slightly when you turn around and he’s standing right there, leaning a hip against the counter.

“Not really.” He moves forward and slips his arms around your waist. “I mean, there is one thing on my list.”

“Yeah?” You ask while making an attempt to toss the vegetables to the counter behind him so you can slip your arms around him too. “What’s that?”

Bucky glances back at the fire in the fireplace where there is now a nice flame dancing around the logs. “I really, really want to make love to my beautiful wife on the floor in front of the fireplace.”

Your eyebrows quirked. “That sounds more like a tonight thing instead of a tomorrow thing.”

“It could be both.” His head dips, pressing his lips to yours in another sweet, tender kiss. “What do you think?”

“I think,” you smile lazily while sliding a hand up over his back, “that we should have dinner, first.” You remind him of the rumbling in your belly only moments earlier. “Then maybe a bubble bath? Afterwards you can spread a blanket on the floor and make love to me however and wherever you please.”

That’s pretty much how your evening goes too. After dinner, where you finally proceeded to tell Bucky about the planned activities for the following day, the two of you clean up the kitchen and then you leave him to head into the bathroom where there is a lovely clawfoot tub big enough for two. You’d brought along your favorite bath oils and soaps, so you dump some into the water causing the room to smell delightfully of ginger and clay as the tub fills.

Bucky joins you moments later with two glasses and a bottle of wine. After setting everything down on the vanity, Bucky slips his arms around you from behind—which is strangely seeming to be his favorite thing to do this weekend. “You had all of this planned out, huh?” He asks, watching as you finish lighting some tealights.

“A mountain lodge getaway for your birthday, how could I not pull out all the romance?” You grin, feeling his soft lips and warm breath caressing your neck. “Are you enjoying it?”

“MmmHmm,” He hums. “Thank you.”

You blow out the matchstick and lay it down in the sink before turning in Bucky’s embrace. “You’re welcome, Love.”

You kiss slowly, tasting and teasing each other’s lips as you both undress. You’re the first to step into the tub, sinking slowly into the hot water while Bucky pours the wine. He hands you a glass before carefully joining you in the water. “Hmm,” he sighs, closing his eyes as he too sinks down and leans back against the opposite side of the porcelain tub, letting his legs slide under yours. “This feels nice.”

You agree with a nod as you take a sip of wine and relax further into the water, letting you head rest on the towel you’d draped over the edge of the tub. It’s exactly what you need after a day on the slopes. You hadn’t done anything that physically demanding in a while—aside from attempting to ice skate a few months back—and your muscles were starting to protest.

Just as he’d wanted, Bucky makes love to you in front of the fireplace later that night. He takes you apart with his hands and then again with his mouth; lips traveling sensually over your naked body—kissing and sucking until you’re aching with need and he’s hungry for more. Your fingers tangle in his hair as he settles between your legs ready to feast on your very essence. 

He takes his time, tasting and teasing you until your legs tremble and your back arches up from the floor; a silent scream parting your lips. While you’re still coming down, Bucky rises to his knees lifting your hips just a bit as he traces his fingers over your thighs; watching mesmerized as the flickering flames cast an amorous glow over your skin.

A soft gasp falls from your lips when you feel heat of his length—hard and pulsing against your center—and your eyes drift to Bucky’s. His pupils are blown, filled with intense need. The sight of him looking like he could devour you makes you shiver with anticipation and you feel yourself clenching with that same need.

As he enters you, he drapes his body over yours, burying his face in the crook of your neck. His breath is hot against your skin as he sighs your name in relief. His arms slip under your back and his hands curl around your shoulders so he can keep you close as his hips move gradually, just barely thrusting into your body. It’s delightful and you love that he’s in the mood to draw it out.

Your lovemaking remains slow and meaningful; comprised of deep kisses and quiet whispers of love as you hold on to each other letting your bodies burn and work together as one. Bucky takes you over the edge twice while pumping his hips steadily. As your second orgasm begins to take hold, it’s intense and your walls grip and contract so tightly around him that he finally staggers. His pace stutters and he plunges deeper, groaning helplessly as his teeth bite into your shoulder—a spontaneous reflex to the shock of his own unexpected release. You cry out in shear bliss as your body reacts pleasantly to the slight pain.

Moments later, you’re still lying beneath him; boneless, satisfied, and relishing in the weight of his body on top of you. Your fingers have taken to tracing up and down his spine, soothing him as you both recover. You smile, feeling him kiss the spot where he’d marked you. That was something new, but not unwelcome. You feel Bucky lifting his head, so you look at him only to find him staring into your eyes with mild concern. “What?” You ask, amused by the look on his face.

“I didn’t mean to…”

“Babe,” you interrupt and let your hands abandon his back as you reach to cup his face before he has a chance to feel anymore regret. “It felt good.”

“Yeah?”

You can’t fight the sudden urge to roll your eyes at your husband. “Oh, come on! You’re gonna tell me that you haven’t liked it when I’ve bit you in the heat of the moment?” It didn’t happen a lot—honestly, you were more of a scratcher—but there have been moments in the past when you couldn’t help yourself and sinking your teeth into his skin was the only thing keeping you conscious.

“Guess you have a point,” he grins at the memories himself.

With a soft laugh, you pull him back down for another kiss.

*****

When you enter your house Monday evening, Bucky is shocked when all of his friends and some family members are hiding inside, waiting to wish him a happy birthday. He looks to you and all you can do is smile impishly at your husband. This had been a part of your plan all along. The ski trip was only the pre-birthday celebration for the two of you. The party? That was the main event. Steve had been in on it, too, obviously. He played it up nicely with delivering his gift to Bucky early because you and he were going to be out of town for his actual birthday. That was the perfect deception. Bucky hadn’t suspected a thing.

Speaking of Steve though, he really cleaned up for the occasion. You take a moment to just look him over as Bucky pulls him into a thankful embrace once he learns of the whole scheme. He’d got his hair cut and trimmed his beard short. Of course, that isn’t all that has you noticing Steve tonight. No. It’s what he’s got on that really catches your eyes. He’s wearing fitted, black jeans with Doc Martens, and cream-colored, cable-knit sweater over a black t-shirt. He looks incredible—simply beautiful, really—and that sweater looks so soft. It almost makes you jealous that Bucky is getting to feel it up as they hug.

When Bucky pulls away from Steve’s embrace, you notice him pick up the pendant on the necklace Steve is wearing. Something in Bucky’s demeanor changes, but it’s only for a split second and then he’s smiling and saying something to Steve as he lets the pendant slip through his fingers to lay against Steve’s chest again.

After that, Bucky makes his way around to the rest of his guests, saying hello and making sure to thank them for coming. The night turns out to be perfect despite how much you’d worried that the surprise wouldn’t work out. The worst part was keeping Bucky distracted enough as you drove home so that he didn’t notice any familiar cars parked near your house. Most of them were parked on the back side of your block, but there was only so much room.

“It’s a nice party,” Katrina says to you with a smile as she hands you a martini. “I think Bucky is really surprised.”

“Yeah. I’m glad it all worked out how I wanted it to, despite the fact that it apparently snowed last night. The forecast was not calling for that!”

“When is the forecast ever right? Fortunately, it was only a skiff. By the way, the other surprise is waiting upstairs.”

Your eyes grow wide with excitement at the reminder. “Already? I thought…”

“Ben was able to pick her up earlier than planned because the sitter got the kids early. I just let him in the back door, and he took her and her crate straight up to the guest room.”

“Aww! Thank you so much Kat.” Even though you’d been more than happy to share Sasha with Bucky, you felt that he needed something to call his own, and he’d been hinting for a while that he’d like to have a dog. You know from experience that if you’re going to have both a cat and a dog, they should be raised together, so you figured it was the perfect time. Sasha was only a few months older than the Golden Retriever puppy you’d found, so it would work out just fine. At least, you hope.

“Not a problem. How you planning to give it to him?”

“No idea.” You probably should have planned that part better, but just finding the perfect puppy was a big enough job not to mention finding someone to pick it up and deliver it. You know for certain that Steve would have been more than happy to do it, but you needed him and Katrina at the house getting the actual party going.

A while later, Bucky opened his gifts, but you didn’t bother getting the puppy from upstairs yet. You wait until he’s least expecting it and then you appear, plopping the golden furball into his arms. He’s dumbstruck, staring at it for a moment before looking at you with a huge grin. “Seriously?”

“Seriously, babe. She’s all yours.” Just as you say that, the happy puppy chooses to leap up and lick Bucky’s cheek which makes him pull a semi-disgusted face and all of his guest laugh. “Looks as though she already likes you.”

“Yeah,” he wrinkles his nose as she does it again, but he’s also smiling. “And who doesn’t love that wonderful puppy breath?”

Leaving Bucky’s side to let him get acquainted with the new puppy, you head into the kitchen. That’s where you find Katrina and Steve. She’s mixing a new batch of margaritas while Steve leans against the counter sipping on a beer idly chatting—no doubt about the kids. “Hey,” you say as you join them. “I think the puppy was a hit.”

“Sounds like it,” Steve agrees with a smile.

There’s something about his demeanor that is off. He’s not acting like Steve normally does, but you don’t say anything about it yet. “How’s the margarita’s coming?”

“Just finished. You want another?”

“Nah, I’m good. I just came in to grab a bottle of water, actually.” You head over to the refrigerator to make your point as Katrina shrugs and lifts the pitcher off the blender.

“Suit yourself. More for everyone else then!”

As she leaves, you glance at Steve who gives you an amused look and a small shrug before saying, “I think she’s happy to be free from the baby for a few hours.”

“I can’t imagine why,” you quip with a laugh while hoping up onto the barstool at the island and motioning for Steve to do the same. He takes the seat across from you, setting his bottle down and crossing his arms on the counter in front of him. “So why you hiding in the kitchen?”

“I’m not hiding,” Steve argues. “I came in to grab a drink and Kat was in here, so I kept her company.”

“Uh-huh.” Apparently, he’s been keeping everyone company in the kitchen as he’s barely been in the living room all evening. He thinks you haven’t noticed how non-sociable he’s being. You decide not to push the issue any further though. As with everything else, if he wants to tell you what’s going on, he will. “I like the haircut.”

“Thanks. Felt like it was time for a change. I was starting to feel a little too scruffy. How was skiing?”

“Cold,” you reply, “but also a lot of fun. The cabin was nice. It had a real wood-burning fireplace in the living room and everything.”

“I bet that was nice,” Steve smirks as if he knows something and your face flushes slightly as you remember the fireplace and the hours you spent lying in front of it.

“It was. Nice and cozy.” You take a drink of your water before continuing. “I spent way too much money on a spa visit, but it was worth it in the end.”

“Yeah, Bucky mentioned a couple’s massage when he text me on Sunday morning. It sounded relaxing.”

“Isn’t that the point?” You feel a little bit relieved when Steve divulges that he’d spoken to Bucky over the weekend, so maybe things weren’t awkward after all and maybe Steve wasn’t actually avoiding Bucky like you were starting to think. “Thank you again, Steve. I appreciate you helping out with the surprise party.”

“Oh! You two are still in here,” Katrina states the obvious as she walks back into the room. “Do you think it might be time for cake?”

“Yes! Cake!” You get up to get the cake out of the refrigerator while Steve politely excuses himself back to the living room where everyone else has congregated. “Did you find a lighter for the candles?”

Katrina grins and hands you a lighter before reaching for the box of birthday candles that’s laying on the counter. “You gonna put all of these on there?”

“Yeah…”

“Better turn off the smoke detectors.”

“Oh shush! We’re not far behind him, ya know.”

*****

“Do you feel better now that you and Steve have spent time together since the whole kissing incident?” You ask as you lay in bed with Bucky later that night. Even though he hadn’t said anymore to you about it, you could tell that it was weighing on his mind. Despite what a great weekend you’d had at the resort, anytime that Steve’s name came up in conversation, he got this look in his eyes. He probably thought that you didn’t notice, but you did. He was worried.

“He was wearing a St. Augustine medallion,” he replies without really answering your question.

“Ok.” You glance up at him from where you have your head laying on his chest, suddenly remembering the look in Bucky’s eyes when he examined the pendant on Steve’s necklace. Sure, it had been a brief flicker of emotion, but it wasn’t a joyous one—that much you know. “What’s the significance of that?”

“St. Augustine is one of the Patron Saints. He lived a rather promiscuous life before finding God. So now, he’s the Saint that Catholics recommend praying to when they’re struggling with addictions—specifically the ones of a sexual nature.”

You feel your heart constricting in your chest at Bucky’s explanation. You can only imagine how either he or Steve must be feeling. Bucky is most likely feeling guilty for crossing the boundaries they’d set for themselves, and Steve is probably struggling to stay on his path. You don’t say anything, you only snuggle closer to him and press a kiss to his left pec.

After heaving an exaggerated sigh, Bucky speaks again, and you immediately hear the amusement in his voice as he glances back towards you. “I guess I should be giving Grandma Betts a call soon.”

“Huh?”

“She’s gonna wanna know about our kids.”

You furrow your brow at Bucky wondering what he’s even talking about. Neither of you had even brought up kids since Thanksgiving. “Our kids?”

“Yeah. Sasha and Winter. We’re parents now.”

You roll your eyes, giving a soft chuckle against Bucky’s chest as you look across the room to the crate where the puppy is sleeping, curled up in her bed and at Sasha who is laying in her own bed atop the crate. Normally she’d be in bed with you, but tonight she is too busy trying to figure out her new friend. “Why the name Winter?”

“Why Sasha?”

“Because it’s an elegant Russian name and she’s a Russian Blue, duh.”

Bucky smiles, obviously realizing the thought that you’d put into it. “Makes sense. I chose Winter because it’s currently winter and letting her outside to pee earlier made it already obvious that she’s going to love the snow.” He leans over pressing a kiss to the top of your head. “Thank you again. For everything. This weekend was amazing.”

You sit up, staring down at him for a moment before smirking. “There is uh… one more thing.”

Bucky’s eyebrow quirk in interest while you steadily maneuver yourself to sit between his thighs. He bites his lower lip with anticipation as you place your hands against his bare chest and drag your short nails all the way down to his stomach. “Oh?”

“MmmHmm,” you reply as you lean over and press a soft kiss just above the waistband of his boxers. Then you slide your tongue along the edge of the elastic band, glancing up at him while your fingers begin to tug the material down.

With a pleased smile on his face, Bucky slides one arm under his head and relaxes back into his pillow so he can watch. “Just keeps getting better.”

*****

The doorbell rings while you are making dinner on Friday evening, so you leave the kitchen to answer it. You’d decided to make lasagna since Bucky is busy working on a paper for one of his classes and has locked himself away in the room that you’d deemed the office. “Hey,” you say with a smile as you open the door to find Steve standing there in a hoodie and dark-wash jeans. You haven’t seen him since Bucky’s party four days earlier, so you’re surprised to see him show up unannounced. As you take in his appearance, you notice that he looks tired once again. You can’t help wondering if he’s getting run down with everything going on at the church.

“Hey,” He replies, his tone confirming your initial thought. “I was just… in the neighborhood and thought I’d drop by.”

You eye him suspiciously wondering why he was anywhere near your home considering the parish is a good twenty-minute drive from there. “Come on in,” you say, stepping back and holding the door for him. “I’m just making dinner. You look exhausted, Steve. Can I get you a cup of coffee?”

“That would be great,” Steve answers, accepting your offer as he follows you into the kitchen and takes a seat at the counter where you have a pan of lasagna halfway assembled with the remaining ingredients in bowls waiting to be added.

Silently, you busy yourself pouring a cup of coffee into a mug before making sure to add the cream and sugar just the way he likes it. His quiet demeanor has you concerned, and when he only nods and says a soft “thank you” when you hand the mug to him, you tilt your head in question. “Is everything ok?”

“Yeah,” he replies. “It’s just been a long day. That’s all.”

With an understanding nod, you go back to preparing the dish to go in the oven that is already pre-heated. “Bucky is up in the office working on a paper for one of his classes. Do you want to go up? Or I could go get him…”

“No,” Steve interrupts. “I don’t want to bother him.”

“Ok,” you agree with a slight shrug, knowing that even though Bucky would want to know that Steve is sitting in your kitchen, he’s also busy with something important; and obviously, Steve isn’t in dire need of his best friend, so you don’t bother insisting. “Do you want to talk? Because contrary to what you’re saying, I can see something is bothering you.”

Steve sighs, setting his mug back down on the counter before even taking a drink. “I just left the home of one of our parishioners.” He chuckles when he notices the once over you give him. “Trust me, I don’t normally dress like this for family counseling, but I got a phone call as I was heading into the grocery store.”

“Emergency counseling, huh?”

“You could say that.”

You watch as he finally lifts the mug to take a sip, closing his eyes and savoring the taste as he swallows. You can’t help the fond smile that forms on your lips. “Good?”

“Yes. Thank you again.”

“You’re welcome,” you assure him while carefully placing another layer of noodles into the pan. “So, about this family you visited; everything ok?”

“I wish,” he says with another heavy sigh. “I’m not sure how to help them,” he explains. “You see they’re devout in their beliefs and their daughter is…” he exhales slowly; unwilling, or unsure about going into further details. “I just don’t know how to make them understand that it’s not a choice.”

Your own heart seems to skip a beat when you realize immediately what he’s talking about. “Oh, Steve,” you whisper, knowing how incredibly difficult this situation must be for him.

“They’re looking to me to help. It’s my job. I have a duty, but honestly, I can’t in good conscience be their advocate. They’re completely unwilling to listen or even try to understand.”

“Is this the first time you’ve dealt with this?”

Steve shakes his head. “No. Saw this all the time in New York, but it was different there. It is my first time having to deal with a teenager and stubborn parents who won’t budge at all on what they know and believe though. She was threatening to run away or worse. That’s why they called.”

“I’m sorry,” you say softly.

“I’ll get through it. Somehow.”

Later that evening, the two of you join Bucky in the living room where you curl up in one of the armchairs with a book that you’ve been trying to finish while Steve and Bucky sit on either side of the couch with the intentions of watching a movie. It is quite clear that something familiar and mundane is exactly what Steve was looking for when he showed up at your house unexpectedly.

He had explained everything to Bucky once he’d joined you for dinner. They’d talked about the situation in depth and eventually, Steve began to feel better. He’d even managed to work out a plan of action based on Bucky’s advice. Additionally, that was the first time you’d ever seen Bucky actually act like a minister might. Ironic that it was to Steve who he was ministering.

The whole ordeal had had you quietly watching them throughout dinner. You got to see a different side of their friendship, and it made you realize that even in regard to their faith, it was obvious that Bucky had played more of a role that you’d initially thought. He was Steve’s confidant in all aspects of life, not just in the name of family and deep friendship. It rattled you to a point.

Nearly an hour later, you finally look up from your reading to see Steve stretched out on the couch with his head in Bucky’s lap. He’s sleeping and Bucky is watching his own fingers raking gently through Steve’s golden hair. It’s obvious to you that the movie has long been forgotten.

You smile, watching your husband comfort his best friend; and as if he feels your eyes on him, he looks up. The look on his face is soft and your heart melts with understanding. “He really was exhausted,” you say and Bucky nods, not wanting to disturb him.

Bucky turns his attention back to the movie, content to allow Steve to sleep on his lap for as long as he can. That turns out to be for the remainder of the movie. He doesn’t even stir until Bucky rouses him by carefully sliding his legs out from beneath Steve’s head as he gets to his feet.

“Oh,” Steve says, his eyes bleary from sleep. “I didn’t mean to…”

“Why don’t you stay the night?” Bucky offers as he remains in front of the sofa where Steve lays. “You’re obviously still exhausted and you know we have room.”

“The guest room is already made up,” you agree. Truth is, you’d kept it ready since the first time Steve stayed over.

“Thanks,” Steve says as he sits up. “But…”

“No buts,” Bucky interrupts. “You’re too tired to drive home. There is no reason you can’t just spend the night and go home in the morning.”

“Well can I at least have breakfast before you kick me out.”

“Cereal,” Bucky teases. “That’s all we’re offering.”

“And coffee,” you amend. “We do offer coffee.”

“Thanks, sweetheart. I know who really loves me.”

You wink at him before getting up and laying your book on the end table. “Come on, Stevie. I’ll help you get settled while Bucky locks up.” You don’t bother to wait for him because he knows where to go. You climb the stairs and walk down the hallway to the guest room where you go about getting the bed turned down for him and fluffing the pillows that hadn’t been used since the last time he’d used them. “I can get you a set of Bucky’s pajamas or sweats if you want,” you explain when he joins you.

“Nah, I’m good,” he declines. “Thanks, by the way. For everything.”

You smile, giving him a nod. “Don’t mention it. That’s what I’m here for.”

“Still…”

You walk over to him and wrap your arms around him wanting only to provide additional comfort. “You know we’re here for you, always. Even if you just need to vent.”

“I know,” he replies while returning your hug and resting his head on top of yours. “And I’m very appreciative of that.”

After several long moments of just holding him, you finally pull yourself away, looking up at him with empathy. “Goodnight, Steve.” You raise up on your tiptoes to leave a soft kiss against his cheek. “You know where the bathroom is. There are fresh towels in the closet as always if you want to shower, and your toothbrush is still in the bathroom cabinet. Just… let us know if you need anything.”

“I will. Goodnight.”

You leave the guest room, heading back along the hallway to your own room. Bucky is already there, sitting on the edge of the bed with Sasha in his lap and Winter laying nearby, waiting for you. “He’s all settled,” you say as you go to your dresser to grab a nightie. “I hope he can sleep.”

“Yeah,” Bucky agrees. “It can’t be easy.”

“It’s not fair,” you grumble while stripping out of your clothes. “I mean, who do they think they are?”

“Doll,” Bucky says softly. “It’s what they believe. Sometimes when people are brought up a certain way with certain things being drilled into their brains, it’s hard to see otherwise or change. It doesn’t mean they’re bad people. It doesn’t mean they can’t eventually change. Sometimes they’re battling fear too.”

“I know, but it’s still just so…ugh!” You whine in frustration when Bucky gets up, causing the kitten to leap to the floor.

He wraps his arms around you from behind, attempting to comfort. “Can I join you in the shower?” His request comes as a whisper against your ear and you smile, nodding your head as he continues, letting his hands trail down your arms.

The two of you often share showers in the master bath as it’s large enough and would be a waste if you didn’t take advantage of that once in a while. Unhurriedly, you spend time letting your hands work to cleanse each other of the day’s sweat and grime while kissing under the spray of hot water. It’s calming and intimate in ways that you can’t really explain, and you take great pleasure in it every time. Even when it ends up being just that—a shower before you both fall asleep; content, and comfortable in each other’s arms.

After drying off, Bucky goes back into the bedroom, leaving you to dry your hair and finish up your nightly routine. Eventually, you join, crawling into bed next to him. You’re almost asleep when you hear a soft knock on your bedroom door. Winter yips and hops up from her spot on the foot of the bed to trot over to the door while Bucky turns on the light on the nightstand. “Come in,” you call as you sit up, making Sasha stir from her favorite sleeping place above your head.

The door clicks open and Steve appears, standing in the doorway wearing his boxers with a plain white t-shirt looking more tired than he had been when you left him. However, now there is also a glimpse of confliction in his eyes, and somehow you know exactly what he needs. You push the covers away and make room between you and your husband. All it takes is a single hand motion from you before Steve is climbing into bed with you.

No words need to be spoken; no permission needs to be asked as he settles onto his back in between you and Bucky, letting you pull the blankets back up over you all. It is what it is, and Steve knows that he is always welcome. Bucky switches the light back off and you feel the bed shifting as he turns back towards Steve. The two of you snuggle into him, wrapping arms and legs around him as he holds on to you both.

With your head on his chest, you can feel how fast his heart is pounding. However, as the moments pass, it begins to slow until it feels normal again. You glance up to see if it’s simply because he went to sleep or if it’s because he’s calming down. The moonlight bathes his face in a soft blue glow, giving just enough illumination for you to see that his eyes are still wide open and focused on the ceiling. You can’t help but wonder what’s going through his mind and if he’s going to be alright when all is said and done.

When you awake the next morning, you find yourself in pretty much the same position as you were when you fell asleep. You glance up at Steve first. He’s still sleeping—peacefully at last, so you avert your eyes to your husband who is noticeably already awake. He has moved away, leaving a gap of empty space between himself and Steve.

He puts his finger to his lips as if telling you to be quiet and then motions for you to follow him as he gets up from the bed, grabbing his jeans and your robe on the way out.

Carefully, you extract yourself from Steve and climb out of bed to follow Bucky. He doesn’t say anything until you’re downstairs. “I thought we should let him sleep a while longer.”

Taking your robe from Bucky, you nod your head in agreement, knowing that Steve was beyond exhausted and definitely needed the extra sleep. “I hope it helps.”

About an hour later, Steve finally appears downstairs. He walks into the kitchen where you and Bucky are having breakfast. You notice him first, so you get up to grab him a plate of scrambled eggs, bacon, and toast. “Sit.”

He complies, sitting across from Bucky at the kitchen table. “Um… About last night…”

“You needed to rest,” Bucky interrupts, looking pointedly at Steve. “How long had it been since you slept through the night?”

Steve looks down at the placemat in front of him and sighs. “I don’t know. A couple of weeks probably.” He smiles appreciatively at you as you set his plate in front of him. “I feel better today.”

“Amazing what actually sleeping can do for a guy,” Bucky says with a playful grin.

“Yeah. Thank you both. I think I just needed…”

“Comfort,” you say, returning a second time with a cup of coffee. “Even though you’re a priest and you’re supposed to be strong in your solitude, you still need to know that you’re not alone and that you’re safe… and loved.”

After a moment of apprehension, Steve nods. “Yes. I’m finding this assignment to be harder and much more taxing than I anticipated, and I’ll admit, I’ve been feeling a bit lost lately.”

“You know you can always come here, right?” Bucky looks across the table to Steve after glancing towards you as you sit back down. “Even if you just need a break.” He grins. “Or a nap.”

Steve laughs lightly at Bucky’s added remark. “I know, and I appreciate that you both have my back.”

“Well, you’re no good to anyone if you’re not ok yourself,” Bucky reminds him. “What was it that we learned in like our second year? In order to take care of others, you must…”

“First take care of yourself,” Steve finishes with a roll of his eyes. “Yeah. I know. I’ve not been doing a great job of that. It’s just the whole mess with the church finances and bookkeeping was worse than I expected and then I get thrown a case like the one with this family—never mind all the other daily duties and services that I have to keep up with. New York was easier because we had several priests available to carry the load. Here it’s just me and the deacons, and I was basically thrown into the floodwaters and my only options were to sink or swim. Before I knew it, I was drowning.”

“Let us be your floaties, Steve!” You flash him a huge smile and he can’t help but laugh at your ability joke in a moment like that.

A little while later, when Steve leaves, it is with the understanding that he won’t let the current situation with the church family get him to that point again. He promises that he will check in more often and even agrees to dinner at least once a week and morning coffee with you at the coffee shop whenever he can make it. It’s not the perfect fix for everything he’s dealing with, but it’s a start.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Kudos are appreciated! Drop a comment if you can. Would love to know your thoughts! <3


	7. Chapter 7

Over the next couple of weeks, the communication lines with Steve seem to have improved. He’s managed to keep in touch daily with both of you, of course you’re not sure he has much of a choice since both you and Bucky tend to text him first. He’s also been at your house for dinner a couple of times when he could make it, and surprisingly, you came home one evening to find him sleeping on your couch while Bucky was in the garage working on a project he was going to submit for his finals.

Your commute to work on the following Thursday morning was pretty routine until you started into the coffee shop and saw Steve standing by the door. It’s surprising because since you’d talked about the possibility of him meeting you for morning coffee, it had only happened once. So that’s obviously why you’re a little bit startled to see him leaning against the brick wall just watching people passing by as he waits. It has nothing to do with how he looks standing there in his black suit and dark sunglasses as the sun reflect off of his golden locks. Nothing at all. He hasn’t noticed you yet, so you give yourself a moment to really access his appearance. Physical appearances aside, he looks calm and peaceful; dare you say relaxed?

After another moment of studying him, you step closer. “Father Steve!”

A slow grin spreads onto his lips and suddenly, he’s smiling brightly at you. It’s a genuine smile, one you haven’t seen in a while, and that alone brings a matching one to your lips. He greats you by name and pushes away from the wall. “I wasn’t sure if you would make it in time for coffee this morning.”

You open the door, holding it and ushering him through before you follow. “How long have you been waiting? Why didn’t you call or text?”

He shrugs. “Wanted to surprise you. Find us a table and I’ll order. Your usual?”

You nod, wondering what’s going on, but you leave him to stand in the short line while you find an empty table. There’s a small one for two in the back corner, so that’s the one you choose. After draping your jacket and purse over the back of the chair, you sit down with your phone in hand to wait.

After only a few minutes, Steve joins you, placing a tray holding two drinks and a couple of pastries on the table between you as he sits. “So, they were out of cherry everything. I got you a blueberry scone or a raspberry and cream cheese danish.”

Your heart melts a little at the notion that he brought you choices. It always amazes you at how thoughtful he is. Of course, Bucky is the same way, so it shouldn’t be that surprising. “Either is fine, thank you.” Another smile graces your face as he hands you a large coffee and a handful of creamers. “So… everything ok?”

He simply nods, looking down as he removes everything from the tray and sets it to the side. “Everything is fine. I just had time this morning and realized that I hadn’t been keeping up my end of the deal.”

“It wasn’t set in stone. We didn’t specify how often we should do this.”

“I know, but I actually do like having breakfast with someone now and then—especially when that someone is you. The nuns aren’t nearly as fun to talk to and they’re certainly not as pretty.”

You lift a curious brow; was he flirting? “You’re in a oddly good mood this morning.”

“It’s a good day. You remember that family that I told you about?” He waits for your nod before he continues. “Well, we had a breakthrough. I’m not sure what changed for them, maybe they finally realized that not having a daughter was worse than having a daughter that loves other girls.”

You smile, feeling undeniable happiness for the girl and for Steve. “Love won.”

He nods. “Love always wins…at least when it’s true.”

“Do you think they’ll really be ok?”

After a moment of hesitation while he unwraps his own apple turnover, he replies. “I hope so. I mean, you can never really be sure in these situations. I guess it depends on how much they’re really willing to accept and learn be tolerant of.”

You understand what he’s saying. Even though you’ve never been on the other side of the fence when it came to loving who you wanted, you knew plenty of people who were. It’s disheartening and can be dangerous at times, but in the end all you can do is try to help people understand and be understanding yourself. “I’m glad it turned out this way. I’m glad for her and her family, and I’m glad for you.”

“I feel like a huge weight has been lifted.”

“I imagine so.” You finally take a bite of the blueberry scone that you’d chosen from the options Steve had brought you. “I couldn’t tell when I first saw you standing outside that you looked more relaxed.”

“Yeah, and I have you and Bucky to thank for helping me get through this. I didn’t realize how much it was really affecting me until we talked.”

“You don’t have to thank us. It’s what we do for the people we care about.”

Steve nodes again, reaching for his drink. He takes a sip and then looks back across the table to you. “So, is there anything new going on in your life that I haven’t been privy to?”

“As a matter of fact, there is,” you reply thinking about work. “As of yesterday, I finally got my own office at the newspaper. Today’s the first day I actually get to use it.”

“Really?” Steve sits up straighter in his chair. “A real, legit office to a real, legit editor. Why’d it take so long?”

“They had to build it.”

Steve snorts lightly. “Well, I guess that’s a good reason. I’d love to see it sometime.”

You shrug your shoulders. “You can stop in after we’re done here, if you want.” You watch Steve glance down at his drink, playing with the cardboard sleeve on the cup as if pondering the invitation, so you amend your statement. “I mean, if you’re not in too much of a hurry.”

“Oh. No,” he assures you. “I have time.”

A little while later, after you’ve left the coffee shop and walked across the street to the Newspaper offices, you show him around and introduce him to a couple of your co-workers that he’s not met. Then you lead him to your new office and close the door behind you. “So, this is it. My home away from home, I guess.”

Steve takes a moment to look around. He smiles, taking in the personal touches that you’d spent the day before adding. Placed around on various surfaces are pictures and a few trinkets that will comfort you when you’re stressed. Some of them were just moved from your desk in the main office, but there were some new ones including a framed eight by ten of you and Bucky with Katrina and Ben and Steve at Christmas. His eyes linger on that one for a moment before turning to you. “This is nice,” he says looking around once more at the office.

It is a nice space. You liked the idea of having complete quiet and privacy to work. The only window in the whole office is on the door and it’s covered with a set of cream-colored venetian blinds that will probably never be open. You’d kind of wished that there was one facing the outside world, but the way the building is situated doesn’t allow for that at all.

Steve steps close to you, still smiling. “I’m proud of you, ya know. You’ve earned this.”

“Thank you,” you reply feeling your heartrate speed up a bit as he seems to be inching even closer. He gently cups your face in his hand, his expression has changed and he’s looking at you in a way that he hasn’t allowed himself to look at you in a long time. “Steve?”

“Shh,” he whispers as he leans closer, barely touching his lips to yours. “Don’t wanna think about it.”

Your eyes drift shut at the touch of his lips as they brush timidly against yours. You reach out placing your hands on his sides, trying to reassure him as continues with the light caresses.

It’s over too soon and Steve is resting his forehead against yours. His eyes remain closed and his breath is slightly labored despite the fact that the kiss hadn’t been much more than chaste. “I…” His breath is warm against your skin. “I’m….”

As he lets you go and takes step back, your thoughts begin to swirl; trying to think of something you could say or do to prevent the disaster that is waiting to happen as Steve slowly realizes the repercussions of what he’d just done. If nothing else you need a distraction, something to possibly soften the blow to his dignity. You think back to earlier when he was talking about having breakfast with you instead of the nuns at the parish. He’d complimented you, but you’d questioned his off handed comment, thinking it sounded quite flirtatious. Maybe he really was intending it that way.

“You said earlier that I am prettier than the nuns,” you watch in delight as his cheeks flush just slightly at the reminder of what he’d said. Perhaps he hadn’t mean to say it out loud. Over the last two years, you’d occasionally flirt blatantly with Steve in private, but he took it in stride, never taking you seriously—and he most certainly never flirted back—at least not since you and Bucky had officially been married and Steve had set the boundaries that apparently no one is paying attention to these days. The best you could ever hope for was a sweet kiss on the cheek and the constant use of pet names. “Do you think I’d still be as pretty if I started donning a wimple and a veil?”

Steve chuckles, slightly taken aback by your lack of acknowledgement to what had just happened, but he’s also a bit grateful. He smiles warmly while reaching to run the backs of his fingers along your cheekbone. “Sweetheart, you’d be pretty no matter what you wear.”

“Or don’t wear?” You ask unable to resist teasing since he was already flustered.

Steve inhales and tilts his head downward to fight the smile that wants to surface again. Finally, he glances back up, giving you a lighthearted glare. “Now, you’re just being bad.”

“I couldn’t resist. You look so cute when you blush.”

“Am I blushing?” His eyes narrow as he glares in mock disbelief.

“I was afraid you were going to start mentally beating yourself up over what just happened.” Before you can continue, he’s shaking his head, so you take a deep breath and pull him in for hug, one in which he returns full force. “I love, you.”

“I love you, too.” He kisses the top of your head, letting his lips linger there for a moment, and you hear him sigh. “How did ever we end up like this?”

You shrug refusing to move from his embrace just yet. “I don’t know. I think it had something to do with me not being able to keep my observations to myself and forcing you to admit your feelings.”

“Yeah, I think that was probably it.”

You lift your head from his chest to look up at him. “Does it ever upset you that I did that?”

Steve steps back again, looking down into your eyes while his hands stay reassuringly on your arms. “No. Having you and Bucky in my life and knowing how we all feel about each other? I’m so grateful for that knowledge. Even if we can’t really be together in any capacity other than as friends…”

“Me too.” You sigh heavily before grinning up at him with a mischievous glint in your eyes. “Friends can kiss right?”

He huffs a short laugh. “They can,” he admits, but his admission is followed by a long exhale. “But priests really shouldn’t.”

“Stupid rules.”

With another laugh, he apparently decides to throw all caution to the wind because the damage is already done, right? “One more for the road?”

Your eyes widen in surprise once more, but your smile gives him all the permission he needs. Stooping down, he kisses you again. This time it’s soft and tender and his hands slip down to circle around your waist. As he draws you closer to him, you reach up to wrap your arms around his neck, whimpering as his tongue slips past your parted lips. You can still taste the mocha flavor lingering from the latte he’d had earlier as his tongue tangles with yours and it’s delightful.

The kiss continues on for a few moments until Steve wisely ends it, guiding you back a step with his hands still holding to your sides. You stare up into his eyes, searching, but you can’t see what you’re looking for. Even though he’d denied it before, you’re still trying to see the remorse or the sorrow or even a tiny bit of regret. Instead, all you can see is longing and it damn near breaks your heart. You can’t help but wonder if that’s the same thing Bucky had saw when they’d kissed weeks ago. “You ok?”

He nods, letting his hands fall from your sides. “I’m ok.”

“Steve…”

“I’m fine,” he reiterates with a smile, reaching up to brush your hair out of your face. “Are you ok?”

“Yeah,” you smile fondly. “I mean besides than the fact that I won’t get any work done because I’ll probably spend the day thinking about _that_ kiss that a priest should absolutely not do, I’m great.” The snicker that Steve makes is quiet, but you still hear it. “You’re going to be thinking about it too, aren’t you?”

He doesn’t bother to deny that fact at all. He only nods and responds sincerely with, “So much so that I’m probably going to need to make more than one personal trip to the alter today.”

You can’t help the laughter that ensues for a moment after that. “I’m sorry,” you apologize for laughing while trying to calm yourself. “I… Oh, Steve.”

“It’s not funny,” he asserts even though he’s now laughing too.

“I know. I know. I can’t help it though.”

“I’m gonna go,” he says, still smiling as he steps further away from you and heads towards the door.

“Steve! Wait!” You call, feeling slightly panicked as you rush across the floor, reaching him just as he puts his hand on the doorknob. “You have…”

He closes his eyes thankfully as you wipe the smudge of your lipstick from his lips. When his eyes reopen, he tells you “thanks” and then opens the door. “I’ll see you tomorrow for dinner at your place.”

****

Bucky is in the living room when you get home from work. He’s sitting on the edge of the couch with his laptop and a few open books spread out on the coffee table—Winter is laying contently at his feet chewing on one of her toys. It was rare when Bucky does work in the living room, but you find it comfortable. You like watching him. “Hey, Lover,” you greet, plopping down next to him on the couch and throwing your bare feet up on one of his thighs.

He glances around at you and smiles. “Have a nice day at work?”

“Yeah. I finished up the piece that came in yesterday, started on another, made out with Steve, and managed to give out this week’s assignments. How was your day?” You bite the inside of your lips, while watching Bucky’s reaction to what you just said. His brow furrows at first and then his blue eyes widen as it sinks in.

“Did you just?” Bucky puts the pen that he’d been holding down on the coffee table. “Steve?”

You shrug, reaching to pet Sasha who is curled up on the back of the sofa. “I honestly don’t know what brought it on. He showed up at the coffee shop for breakfast like we’d talked about, and then I took him over to see my new office. We were talking and he was telling me that he was proud of me. The next thing I knew he’d kissed me.”

“Damn…”

“I’ll say.”

“So, then what?”

You shrug, leaning back further into the cushions. “Nothing, really. I did ask him if he was ok. He said that he was fine, and we talked a bit, and then he left. He’s still coming for dinner tomorrow, so I guess all is well.”

“So, do we just pretend that nothing happened?”

“I think it might be for the best,” you explain watching your husband nod in return. “I mean, it’ll be different if he brings it up, but I don’t think we should press.” You continue to watch Bucky as he closes his laptop and the books that were accompanying it. He shifts, moving to sit further back on the couch without moving your feet from his thigh. “Are you ok with us kissing?”

“Yeah….of course. It’s just…. Steve initiated it?”

“He did. I don’t know why, exactly. He was in a good mood this morning, I noticed it when I first saw him. You know that family he’s been counseling? They’ve come around and he thinks they’re going to be ok. So, I don’t know if that had something to do with it or not. I just know, I was not expecting it at all.”

Your husband snorts at the last part of your explanation, shaking his head slightly. “No, I bet not.”

“Babe?” You nudge his leg with your foot. Despite what he said, his demeanor is telling you something is not right with his thoughts. “Are you sure you’re not upset?”

“I’m just surprised. I… How did it make _you_ feel?”

You’re not sure how to respond. You know when Bucky had kissed Steve, he’d said he felt guilty and like he’d crossed a line that shouldn’t have been crossed again, but you can’t honestly say you felt the same about crossing the line. That could have something to do with the fact that you weren’t the one who started it, but it could also be because you didn’t have the same reservations about Steve that Bucky did. However, you do feel uncertainties when it comes to Bucky, but up until this moment, you hadn’t allowed yourself to think about the fact that he might not react well to it, despite what he’s told you. You take another minute to mull over your own feelings as you chew nervously on your lower lip. “I… I’m not sure really. I mean obviously, I was happy to have the chance to kiss him again. I mean, maybe I had a little bit of concern about it but then—now—I’m completely unsure of how I really feel.”

“Unsure?” Bucky shifts around so that he can face you and rest his back against the sofa’s arm.

“I don’t now how to explain it, Buck.” You sigh moving from your spot to settle your body between him and the back of the couch. He moves slightly to give you room and wraps an arm around your back. “I guess I was feeling a little confused at first, because it just came out of nowhere, but then I just wanted it. So, I let it happen.” You pause to gather your thoughts while reaching up to toy with the button on your husband’s shirt. “Afterwards, I might have felt a tinge of remorse. Mostly, though, I just didn’t want him to feel regret. I kinda wondered if I had done something specific to cause it to happen, but I couldn’t think of anything. Breakfast was the same as had been before except he was more relaxed and playful than I’ve seen him in a while. I think he was even being a little flirtatious and eventually, I guess I flirted back.” You furrow your brow at the memory. “Then I felt a little ashamed of myself because it affected me physically too. As the day went on, I tried to shove that feeling aside because I knew—or at least I hoped that you’d understand.”

“I do understand.” Bucky reaches to run his fingers through your hair in a gentle, comforting way. “I definitely understand the wanting and the guilt that comes with it.” He sighs as he rests his head against yours. “Do you still feel the same way about him as you did?”

“You mean do I still love him?” When you feel Bucky nod and hum affirmatively, you continue. “Of course, I do.” It’s not a lie, you do love Steve. There had been times when you’d wondered if the love you felt for him was residual because of all the things that had happened between the three of you the summer before Bucky proposed. You’d even halfway expected those feelings to fade over time with his absence, but that hadn’t been the case. “I can’t just flip a switch.”

You hear Bucky sigh. “Yeah, I know.”

“Babe…?”

“Hmm?”

“Are we ok?” You feel tears prickling your eyes at the thought that you might not be. The two of you had talked at length about how Steve fit into your lives. Everything that you’d decided had been mutual. He wasn’t really what one would call a free pass, but both of you had promised that if anything ever happened again between any of you, that it was ok. However, there’s something in the way Bucky is acting that has you concerned.

“Why wouldn’t we be?”

“I don’t know,” you sniffle softly trying to keep your emotion in check. “I don’t feel like you’re taking this well.”

“I’m not,” he replies, and you immediately raise up to stare down at him. He reaches to gently wipe away the first tear as it spills over your cheek. “But it’s not because you and Steve kissed. I’m fine with that. I’d be such a hypocrite if I wasn’t, yeah?”

There’s a tinge of relief that flows over you, however, there’s still something wrong and that’s unsettling. “Then what is it, Bucky?”

“What if I caused all of this?” He glances down and you can see the pain in his features, but you still don’t fully understand.

“What do you mean?”

“I crossed the line first. I kissed him—he didn’t initiate it at all. I sensed how uncomfortable he was. I even felt him flinch, but I couldn’t stop myself even when I knew I shouldn’t. He’s been so strong in his faith and in his work. What if all I did was awaken his feelings again and make him weak?”

“Bucky,” you whisper, barely believing that this was the kind of guilt your husband had been carrying around for over a month. “You can’t think like that.”

“I can’t help it. It’s been eating away at me since the weekend of my birthday.” He sighs heavily again, and you can hear the quiver in his voice as he adds, “we set boundaries for a reason.”

A long while later, after a lot more talking and trying to reassure your husband that everything is going to work out just fine where Steve was concerned, you order in dinner, and then call it an early night. Of course, sleep doesn’t come easily for either of you. Most of your restlessness is attributed to Bucky’s own tossing and turning. Eventually, you wrap yourself around him and hold him tightly, hoping that it will somehow calm him. Tomorrow is a new day and Steve is joining you for dinner. Everything will be fine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Drop a comment if you wish. I love knowing what you think. Kudos are cool too. ;)


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